Too Late

It was a wild winter’s night but she couldn’t turn back The opalescent moon peeped through the clouds and lit her way Sally’s heart pounded when she heard loud groaning coming from the building But she knew that she had to go in The door creaked on ancient rusty hinges and she crept inside Her eyes slowly became accustomed to the gloom from the oil lantern It was then she caught sight of Steve kneeling in the corner Rivulets of red blood was trickling down his arms She was too late... The trainee vet had raced ahead of her and the calf was safely delivered! Descry contest Sponsored by Rob Carmack 05 08 17

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Ralph Sergi

Date: 6/24/2017 12:12:00 PM

Great twist in the poem, JAN from MAN!

Jan Allison
Date: 6/24/2017 7:46:00 PM

Thanks so much Ralph I have such a smile on my face my friend thank you so so much for writing with me I am delighted WE got POTD and just wish it had been on your page not mine:-( Hugs jan xx

Reason A. Poteet

Date: 6/21/2017 8:15:00 PM

You take me back to several years ago and my first calf delivery remembrance. Well-done, Jan, congratulations on your placement.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/22/2017 12:54:00 AM

Oh wow Reason I am amazed anyone can really relate to my story !!! :-) hugs Jan xx

Rob Carmack

Date: 6/21/2017 1:06:00 AM

Seems you got us all with the ending. Congrats & thanks for your support Jan.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/21/2017 1:16:00 AM

Thanks so much Rob I am delighted to feature on your winner's list:-) hugs jan xx

Niall Fulham

Date: 5/13/2017 3:51:00 AM

Hi Jan , Great write and great ending ::)))hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 5/13/2017 8:16:00 AM

Thanks Niall I do write the odd more serious poem from time to time:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Marie Coreggia

Date: 5/11/2017 10:05:00 PM

Talk about a surprise ending! The story reads like a mystery and you're are kept on your toes until the release of that very last line. This is beautifully done and it looks like winner to me:) Amitiés

Jan Allison
Date: 5/12/2017 1:05:00 PM

Thanks Anne-Marie I do like to have a twist in the end of some of my poems:-) hugs Jan xx

Bl Devnath

Date: 5/11/2017 10:31:00 AM

An excellent poem surprise's screening clearly at the end. A beautiful 7. Loved always, bl

Jan Allison
Date: 5/11/2017 2:15:00 PM

Thanks BL:-) hugs Jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 5/9/2017 7:37:00 PM

Your mystery drew us in to a happy and surprising ending. I enjoyed this Jan! 7 ; )

Jan Allison
Date: 5/11/2017 2:14:00 PM

Thanks Connie:-) I do like a twist at the end of some of the poems:-) hugs Jan xx

Akkina Downing

Date: 5/9/2017 6:09:00 PM

Ah, I was just on the verge of feeling sad, only be surprised at the end. Twist of blink, Jan. I love it :) Hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 5/11/2017 2:13:00 PM

Thanks akkina:-) hugs Jan xx

Nette Onclaud

Date: 5/9/2017 12:58:00 PM

greeat storyteller you are dear jan... enjoyed the element of surprise in the end.. how are you?.. am in a cleansing mode, hah!.. huggs

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2017 5:46:00 PM

Thanks Nette I'm fine hope you are OK:-) hugs Jan xx

Charlie Smith

Date: 5/9/2017 12:47:00 PM

Great twist Jan, you had me going. Good luck in the contest...

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2017 1:59:00 PM

Thanks charlie:-) hugs Jan xx

Carl Jent

Date: 5/9/2017 7:52:00 AM

A pleasant surprise ending, I had sadness pending, turned to joy as poem ending then had to write by sending with the day beginning about the contest you should be winning. Nice poem.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2017 12:24:00 PM

I do like to surprise with a twist at the end of some of the poems:-) hugs Jan xx

Lisa Ricci

Date: 5/9/2017 5:13:00 AM

Oh Jan. Wow. You delivered anticipation a moment in time with weather elements to enhance the plot and scene. The ending was perfect to give meaning to "too late". Well done completely and entirely. Good luck with the contest.

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2017 12:24:00 PM

Thanks lisa:-) hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 5/8/2017 11:23:00 PM

I liked this on a few levels, of which only one of them could you guess! :) a Fav

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2017 3:25:00 AM

You know I'm warped and twisted with my endings sometimes!. i can guess which level you were thinking of lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Anil Deo

Date: 5/8/2017 6:08:00 PM

SEVEN! We have some poems with James Herriot touches today (I wrote one with rabbits & butterflies to teach my then daughters, Math. Of course MATHS, in Commonwealth nations!). Tension filled, but only late to deliver a calf (No human was harmed in the making of this poem, I guess?). shalom Sis!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2017 12:26:00 PM

I loved the herriot books and TV series gosh it was many years ago they were screened on the tv:-) hugs Jan xx

Ilene Bauer

Date: 5/8/2017 5:55:00 PM

great and unexpected ending, jan!

Jan Allison
Date: 5/9/2017 12:26:00 PM

Thanks Ilene I do like to surprise:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 5/8/2017 5:37:00 PM

Oh my, I thought there was a murder. WELL done, Jan. I bet it was murder on the mother cow though!!! ( have to look up Descry. I don't even know what it means. hahaha)

Jan Allison
Date: 5/8/2017 5:42:00 PM

Lol I'm not sure if it will appeal to rob I thought of the ending and built the poem around that thought:-) hugs Jan xx