To You For Me

I wish you could understand my pain. The crack you put in my foundation. The wing you clipped from this earth angel. The crying is so loud in my heart, my head, it hurts. Before we were, I was healing, me, others. my heart and my hands Are unsure. This was not the work of love, but of anger, of an angry god. I only love the God of love. Who is this? My tears, stain the land, my heart, they flow into its crack, and it swells, so that I fear it’ll explode, and all of me will die. My tears, I remember, and I know they flow with the others in the brook, so many tears(tears). You give the lashing and lash out when I limp do you want me to just be OK in your aftermath, but in the storm you were standing under a roof, and I was fully exposed to it. Hurting, bruised, not just outside my body, but my spirit body. She doesn’t know how to fully heal. She reaches to God, she prays to God, she speaks to God and begs him, and her goddess self to forgive . To sew patches, to sew thread, healing thread, to heal these deep, deep wounds. I can find revelry in my Solace and others music that share my pain. These wounds are the hardest to heal. The hardest. I ask God, how God, can I move forward without limping in pain? Chin up back straight face right! While I shiver and Shake like a winter leaf, hanging on to a bear tree. My anger shakes my head and shakes my body and shakes the earth and all those around me. Although unaware, feel the vibration of my shake. it bares a solemn, sad song. My largest burden so far in this life! I feel I’ve carried. I feel my angels are carrying it with me and helping me on my healing journey. My traumatized soul please great spirit help me mend me. I have so much to do. I’m supposed to be healing, others, but how can I when I keep having to re-stitch my own wounds so I don’t bleed out! Why did you hurt me so?! I love you and I’m so angry you opened me then you ripped me open with your anger. I don’t want this dark energy of remnants on my scars, my soul . I’m having to scrub them, to shake constantly! As I re-see and re-patch. What do you say higher self? What? Speak louder! I can’t hear fully what you are saying. I can hear your voice, I just can’t make out all the words. The lightning struck me hard. It made me hard of hearing a bit. I’m straining, I’m trying so hard to hear you. I try all directions, all angles. Such frustration. I feel the child in me, she’s sad, she’s crying by the brook. how do I tell her it’s OK and take her hand, pick her up from where she left all her tears that are now a part of her where the Brook flows higher now, added tears. If I can get her to walk over to the bridge with me maybe we can heal together and again become one. Become whole. Become OK…