To trust just this once

My earliest memories taught me love is a tool used to manipulate, to hurt, to force one’s will, to teach others to behave in a specific way. A promise one made but never meant. In essence make believe, a fairytale like the movies, a happily ever after that never really was. My world view throughout life. Keeping others at a distance to protect the shell of self. Into parenthood i brought these values, giving what I had, an offering unwanted by all before. Can kids see through? Once, even grown, she said she wanted to spend time with me, I found it quite disconcerting. Overwhelmed by the realization that her affection for me was genuine. No hidden agenda, a desire to connect. Hide my surprise, emotion washed over me. Is it possible, genuine affection, one for another? Did the world shift? is it true? Perhaps it’s real. Maybe I can trust. Maybe just this once.