To My Daughter

To my darling daughter maybe one day you will see. Just how very special and much you mean to me. Looking back through the years oh how hard it was fighting back the tears. The hurt and pain I feel inside will be with me till the day I die. I don't understand where I went so very wrong,if only I had it to do again how happy I'd be. I know just where to begin I would start by changing everything about me. Maybe then we would be closer than close and I wouldn't be the one you disrespected the most. If only I knew how to make it all better,that would be the best gift I could ever get even more than a card or letter. For us to be closer than close like moms and daughters are supposed to be. I just don't ever see that being possible for you and me. Lord knows how hard I've tried and in many different ways. To just be able to hear those words to have my daughter say. That she loves me and let me hug and love her any time I want you see instead what I get is hateful hurtful things said and done, a hug you need to ask for one " don't hang on me ". To be able to kiss my beautiful daughters sweet face, and for her to welcome me with a loving embrace. It hurts me more than you can ever even phathom or begin to see,I I guess that's how its always gonna be for you and me. Just know that I am always here for you and love you no matter what you say or do wrong. I just wish I could be the person that would make you proud to say " That's my mom ".