To All My Souper Friends

I wanted to thank each of you personally,but there are to many of you so I am writing this to all who have been willing to put up with my sad and dark poems and all the kind comments you have made.I have been overwhelmed with friendship since I joined the soup. I never knew there were people like all of you out there,but I have discovered that there is.I have struggled all my life with depression, and other mental illnesses.My outlook on life is said through my poems.I don't know myself when I will decide I can't take the pain anymore.It is a day to day struggle for me.HG,you asked me how could you write a suicide poem and not die?I can't answer that question, and Douglas Ace you asked what our friendship means to me?That I can answer.It means more than anything to me and your kind and gentle words are all taken to heart.Linda Marie has also helped through my trying times.Jeralynn Clark,and James Fraser, wrote a poem for me, which I appreciate more than words can say.I wanted to write this to everyone and I hope you all get everything you ask for.I can't keep fighting the feelings that I feel about ending it all.It is a day after day feeling and I am tired.I will watch over all of you.I just can't hold on to the future when all I think about is the past.You all think I need help and I agree ,but have yet to find the help that is going to change the way I feel.Please read my poem Is There A Heaven.When I find out you all will be the first to know.I must go now and I hope you all can understand why.Thank you I know isn't enough but I don't know what else to say to show how much you all meant to me.Peace and Love to all of you.Pray for me. YOUR SOUPER FRIEND, Colleen Marie Bono