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Through the Keyhole

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Peeking through the hotel keyhole I start seething, I begin to see red There’s a strange man taking MY role I can see them both romping in bed I decide I must act really speedily Don’t have a moment to spare Activating my plastic room key I see his white bottom, it’s bare! Aiming my gun, I shoot both in the head Blood stains the rug, it splatters the wall It ends their affair, that love rat is dead ... I’ll plead guilty when the local cops call The gunshots draw lawmen to the door Cops soon arrest me, they take me outside My wife’s out there, she’d been at the store - She’d let our room to a groom and his bride! SLAP THE MUSE AND TURN IT LOOSE CONTEST Judged 2/13/19 - poem got n/a 12/31/18

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John Hamilton

Date: 6/27/2019 9:17:00 AM

Well done Jan, congrats on a fine win!

Old Buck

Date: 1/3/2019 2:01:00 PM

Jan: Well done. My kind of writing at it's best. Thanks for sharing with all of us on the soup. oldbuck

Jan Allison
Date: 1/3/2019 2:14:00 PM

Hi Old Buck, long time no see hope you are well and had a wonderful time over the festive period:-) very best wishes for 2019:-) hugs Jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 1/3/2019 1:21:00 AM

This is awesome Jan! ....now I rarely ever use that word it has become so common but I mean it in the highest complimentary way! I know this one just has to impress! I loved it, and I disagree, you can write in any form, and well! : ) xxoo PS thanks to Arthur I didn't miss this gem!

Jan Allison
Date: 1/3/2019 3:20:00 AM

Thanks Connie and Art too:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 1/1/2019 6:20:00 PM

oh wow, a huge twist at the end. Very very clever. Just had to see what you would do with this one. I hope I can come off with such a clever one!

Jan Allison
Date: 1/1/2019 6:24:00 PM

Thanks Andrea there is a little more to me than just a humourist but I much prefer writing humour to any other style whereas you excel in whatever form you choose:-) hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith

Date: 1/1/2019 5:13:00 PM

Oops lol

Jan Allison
Date: 1/1/2019 5:14:00 PM

ha ha ha thanks Tim:-) i can write a serious non poopy poem from time to time lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Nette Onclaud

Date: 1/1/2019 9:52:00 AM

what a thriller , jan...alfred hitchcock would love this; i do!... talk soon!...huggs and happy new year!

Jan Allison
Date: 1/1/2019 1:30:00 PM

Thanks Nette, hope you had a great Christmas and have a happy New year:-) hugs Jan xx

Joanna Daniel

Date: 1/1/2019 7:16:00 AM

Wow, that was a really good twist, Jan:) have a wonderful and a blessed New Year:)

Jan Allison
Date: 1/1/2019 9:50:00 AM

Thanks so much Jo, sending my best wishes for 2019:-) hugs Jan xx

Joseph May

Date: 1/1/2019 6:56:00 AM

The twist at the end of wedded bliss..A dark tale Jan...Happy New Year!

Jan Allison
Date: 1/1/2019 7:08:00 AM

Thanks Joseph:-) Happy New year to you and your loved ones:-) hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 1/1/2019 12:20:00 AM

Your killing me girl, I mean your killing me stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL loved this!

Jan Allison
Date: 1/1/2019 2:21:00 AM

lol Art, I hope John likes it:-) hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso

Date: 1/1/2019 12:20:00 AM

and yes you knew I would love this one!!

Jan Allison
Date: 1/1/2019 2:20:00 AM

lol Art:-) Guess I'm a little twisted with that ending lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Mystic Rose Rose

Date: 12/31/2018 8:15:00 PM

Your killing me girl, Happy New Year. xo

Jan Allison
Date: 1/1/2019 2:19:00 AM

thanks Pixie, happy new year:-) hugs Jan xx

Tom Cunningham

Date: 12/31/2018 3:15:00 PM

Ahh well at least they died happy, way to go.Brilliant Jan. Tom

Jan Allison
Date: 12/31/2018 3:25:00 PM

lol Tom that's one way of looking at it lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Rico Leffanta

Date: 12/31/2018 2:00:00 PM

It is better when you slay them with flatulence . . . .but good luck with this gruesome scene!~ Aloha! Rico

Jan Allison
Date: 12/31/2018 2:12:00 PM

lol someone might have got wind of the situation lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Caren Krutsinger

Date: 12/31/2018 10:43:00 AM

Oh, my gosh, I cannot stop picturing his white bottom in the air! Hilarious my friend! I think this one is straight to the number one spot.

Jan Allison
Date: 12/31/2018 12:35:00 PM

lol Caren I had such fun writing the poem, a little humour but also darkness and a twist at the end too lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Harry Horsman

Date: 12/31/2018 10:29:00 AM

Oh, typical you, Jan...you had me there, really into this wonderful dark story..then wham.... love your poetry...Happy New Year..

Jan Allison
Date: 12/31/2018 12:30:00 PM

Thanks for the lovely comment and your continued support Harry:-) I worked out the ending first and worked the poem around it lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 12/31/2018 10:22:00 AM

WoW! Jan, You let your muse loose to write this piece. I enjoyed the drama, suspense and build up. It was like I watching a good movie or reading a good book. Was not expecting that twist at end. I think you've penned yourself a winner. I wish you the best of luck in the contest-Alexis

Jan Allison
Date: 12/31/2018 12:29:00 PM

Thanks Alexis I thought of the ending first and wove the poem around it lol:-) hugs Jan xx