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Threadbare

thin moon hangs in the blurring light when the red tape of work ends day's end before darkness darts onto idling pillows a too slight shine to navigate the strain of living wounds unstitched like a heart unhealing from over-crowded transgressions a feel that's too familiar nestled in the treads of tired where we can't always control the skidding crescent moon dangling, unsettled in the sky shrunk in a sparseness of graying pinched edges from a light threadbare unable to lift toil from labor's bones haggling for some salvation

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Craig Cornish

Date: 1/21/2025 6:55:00 AM

You're a true poet, I tire of reading the obvious (which we all can see), instead, a true poet, helps us see what is behind the obvious and into our own souls too seldom searched...

Brian Sambourne
Date: 1/21/2025 7:58:00 AM

Thanks very much for your thoughtful, supportive comments. Frequently I do slip into the obvious + commonplace in my writing. I have loads of crumpled scribbles to attest to that. Originality can be elusive. Nevertheless your words are most encouraging indeed.

Constance La France

Date: 4/23/2024 5:27:00 AM

Brian, congratulations on your win in my contest with this wonderful poem, Constance

Brian Sambourne
Date: 4/23/2024 9:40:00 AM

Thank you, Constance.

Duke Beaufort

Date: 3/29/2024 9:32:00 AM

Brian, there are as you point out, a lot of challenges and reminders of them as well. At least the moon cycles and becomes full each lunar month. Your poetry provides much for me to think about. Thanks for writing with a style that's not too complex and not too simple. It's writing in the Goldilocks zone for us ordinary people! You made me smile today!

Brian Sambourne
Date: 3/29/2024 4:01:00 PM

Very thoughtful of you to note a writing objective - to be comprehensible without being lost in an esoteric stew. I especially like your description of the Goldilocks zone - no extremes but accessible to as many readers as possible. Much appreciation for your thoughtful input into my postings. Be well. Brian

Thomas Wells

Date: 3/23/2024 4:59:00 PM

The moon is often a symbol of lunacy and I like the way you work with this metaphor by connecting it to "over-crowded transgressions," which creatively describes the insanity we make in our lives. Nicely done!

Brian Sambourne
Date: 3/25/2024 1:57:00 PM

Hello Thomas, So true in that moon is often associated with lunacy, especially when full. The slivered moon here is weak and threadbare, just as a heavy laden populace suffers below, their energy sheared to threads. Thank you for calling attention to the merged metaphor. Wishing you health as spring buds + sprouts. Brian

Tom Woody

Date: 3/19/2024 3:42:00 PM

Overcrowded transgressions plague us all, even the ones who are deniers. A little relief would be nice. Have a great week Brian

Brian Sambourne
Date: 3/19/2024 5:07:00 PM

Very true, Tom. Thank you for your stop by + message. Best wishes. Brian

Sara Kendrick

Date: 3/16/2024 12:19:00 AM

Sometimes in life we are threadbare tired from stress of everyday living. In times like those, I have found doing a little something different at least once a week helps a body to keep on keeping on. Thanks for sharing this one and for dropping by my page. Sara K

Brian Sambourne
Date: 3/16/2024 5:45:00 AM

Greetings Sara, Very true. We are often threadbare from tasks as you note. I tried to tie a slip of a moon to the weariness of a laborer below, but it didn't place well in a contest. Even the light is threadbare. Still, I am not unhappy with the poem. Look after yourself + have a grand spring. Brian

Bill Baker

Date: 3/14/2024 9:30:00 PM

Very creative Free Verse poetry, Brian. Great entry for the contest. Good luck! A poet friend in Texas, Bill

Brian Sambourne
Date: 3/14/2024 10:16:00 PM

Thanks very much Bill. I hope all is well with you. We've been reading about fires in the Texas panhandle. Take care. Brian

Nwachukwu Victor

Date: 3/13/2024 1:55:00 PM

You're really talented Brian Nice one I loved reading it Please follow me

Brian Sambourne
Date: 3/13/2024 1:59:00 PM

So thoughtful of you to see value in my work. I look forward to more of your postings. Sincerest regards always, Brian

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 3/13/2024 1:01:00 PM

Great, Brian! …wounds unstitched… heart unhealing from over-crowded transgressions…haggling for some salvation

Brian Sambourne
Date: 3/13/2024 1:57:00 PM

My appreciation for your stop by and supportive note, Kim. A slip of a moon had me thinking about limited light on laborers heavy laden in toil. I hope that you are well. Brian

Nwachukwu Victor

Date: 3/12/2024 11:31:00 PM

Wow!!! Impressive Keep it up I'm a new poet and please support me in any way you can

Brian Sambourne
Date: 3/13/2024 6:34:00 AM

Thank you for your kind comment. Welcome to Poetry Soup. I will read your postings. Best wishes, Brian