Things Left Unsaid
A mirror is set in the center of a room crowded by addicts, a candle lit on each end of it.
A therapy session to release, and say goodbye to a loved one that I never had closure.
" Just look into the mirror and speak freely" how is a young adult suppose to take this?
Slowly, and hesitantly I speak....
unsure with all the eyes scrutinizing and ears attentive.
"Hello mom it is me, your young baby girl, grown up in a life of self destruction,
with nowhere left to turn. I am not sure what I am suppose to be doing here?
I am not sure what I am suppose
to be saying? This is silly.... " I attempt to take a deep breath, it is so shallow.
I gasp for air, is this a panic attack?
No, I begin to feel my lip quiver, my body shakes.. all the faces in the background
diminish. My adult voice, takes new form, it is of a lost nine year old girl.
I cry out, why did you leave me?
It was not fair, as I stumbled across the hot desert highway to see your lifeless body
covered in blood. Weak from my own wounds, dazed and confused from being trapped between
the bed of a truck and 108 degree asphalt,
flipped too many times to count. I fell, I did not make it
to you. I was unable to tell you that I was sorry,
I didn't mean for my immature last words
to be that I hated you. Forgive me, I loved you mommy
Then suddenly, I was once again aware of my surroundings.
I look up to see so many weeping eyes around me, touched by what they witnessed.
Here I sat in front of them, vulnerable.. yet not caring for once what they thought.
Self release of tortured words that were left unsaid for over 12 years....
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