Things Left Unsaid

A mirror is set in the center of a room crowded by addicts, a candle lit on each end of it. A therapy session to release, and say goodbye to a loved one that I never had closure. " Just look into the mirror and speak freely" how is a young adult suppose to take this? Slowly, and hesitantly I speak.... unsure with all the eyes scrutinizing and ears attentive. "Hello mom it is me, your young baby girl, grown up in a life of self destruction, with nowhere left to turn. I am not sure what I am suppose to be doing here? I am not sure what I am suppose to be saying? This is silly.... " I attempt to take a deep breath, it is so shallow. I gasp for air, is this a panic attack? No, I begin to feel my lip quiver, my body shakes.. all the faces in the background diminish. My adult voice, takes new form, it is of a lost nine year old girl. I cry out, why did you leave me? It was not fair, as I stumbled across the hot desert highway to see your lifeless body covered in blood. Weak from my own wounds, dazed and confused from being trapped between the bed of a truck and 108 degree asphalt, flipped too many times to count. I fell, I did not make it to you. I was unable to tell you that I was sorry, I didn't mean for my immature last words to be that I hated you. Forgive me, I loved you mommy Then suddenly, I was once again aware of my surroundings. I look up to see so many weeping eyes around me, touched by what they witnessed. Here I sat in front of them, vulnerable.. yet not caring for once what they thought. Self release of tortured words that were left unsaid for over 12 years....