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The Winter of Our Discontent

I'm discontent that you just went. You did not think to say good-bye. You were intent — you had to die. You could have asked if it was time. You could have stopped and changed your mind. You might have seen that life was fine, but you were not the waiting kind. You had to leave — the bags were packed. The dice had rolled — the odds were stacked. I wonder if you thought of us before you caught the winter bus? The coach rolled quickly through the snow. But why that night — I do not know. Is there a 'why'? There's just a 'how'. There is the 'here', the 'sad', the 'now'. And now, we cough and ache and groan — all creatures always die alone. All ticket-holders must let go and board the bus amid the snow. The driver grins at all aboard. The rich, the poor can all afford this one-way ticket into night. Into the dark? Toward the light? But aren't there things we've left undone? And aren't there 'love yous' left unsaid? To us, to her, to everyone? It makes no sense to just be dead! We can't make sense. We needn't try. The winter's cold, the morning — dark. We wake and ponder on the sly: what if that bus had stayed in park?

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019




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Date: 12/16/2019 1:07:00 PM
This has more depth than realized at first glance. I got much more than your sense of humor on second read. Nicely done.
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Vladimir Tumanov
Date: 12/16/2019 1:19:00 PM
Thank you, Lin. I appreciate your comment. I wrote this when my father-in-law died suddenly a few years ago. It was the middle of winter in Saskatchewan. He walked into a hospital on his own two legs and was gone two days later. He was a WWII vet. And even though all his life he had never talked about the war, in his final moments, as he sank into subconscious delirium, he muttered a few phrases that made it clear that he was reliving the war.

Book: Reflection on the Important Things