Shirley Rebstock | + Follow Poet |
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The War In My Mind

The war is over
The war continues in my mind
Seeing in my mind's eye my first kill

"He's mine, I saw him first," I told the other soldiers
The boom of my rifle echoing in my ears
My eyes watching the video in my head
He fell head first, legs kicking in the air
Then stillness

The stench of vomit filling my nostrils
Sick to my stomach
Whom am I to take another's life
Am I a good man or a bad man
A question of many a soldier

Hell became the norm after many more kills
War is hell
If only I
Maybe if
The war continues in my mind

Copyright © Shirley Rebstock | Year Posted 2017

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Freddie Robinson Jr. Date: 10/21/2017 11:49:00 AM Very illuminating poem, Shirley. The spiritual toll on the soul from killings is incalculable. You broached the subject well w/keen insights and intense self-examination. Login to Reply Shirley Rebstock Date: 10/21/2017 11:56:00 AM Thank you for your thoughtful comment.

Christopher Flaherty Date: 7/3/2017 5:23:00 PM Hi Shirley I love this its very personal regarding the feeling and though of killing for war Login to Reply Shirley Rebstock Date: 7/7/2017 7:18:00 PM Thank you, actually, I was trying to express what a close relative told me about his thoughts during war he was in and not just him, but other relatives expressed to me over the years. However, they came home and lived their lives to the best of their abilities so their fallen brothers did not die in vain.

John Hardison Date: 6/11/2017 12:44:00 AM Thank so much for your vivid commentary. Never had to face the horrors WAR other personal ones at home. Your description does vividly drive home the personal aspects of WAR. As stated by other too, a living HELL As always wishing all, Peace, Love and Joy Login to Reply Shirley Rebstock Date: 6/12/2017 4:11:00 PM Thank you for reading. Some of the soldiers I have known talk about their experiences and some keep it to themselves. One relative suffers from ptsd. They all deserve our support.

Arthur Vaso Date: 6/4/2017 9:25:00 PM I found this poem endearing in its honesty, and as a writer myself, which I could hear all the stories, well done! Login to Reply Shirley Rebstock Date: 6/5/2017 4:38:00 PM Thank you for your comment. Having read several books by soldiers and stories from my relatives who fought in different wars, I saw their courage. One question, I mention in poem, came up in several stories of soldiers who never met each other. Some able to talk about it and others who keep it to themselves. Killing a necessity of war, yet has to be processed by the soldier.