The Voices In My Head

Have you thought of suicide? Have you ever thought of murder? Crazy as it may sound, I've thought of both. Is it okay for me to tell you I've felt this way? I dont know why, And sometimes I try to block out the thoughts. But they keep coming back. Telling me that they want more. They want me to go through. Do the things I feel that I should do. Take a gun to my head. Pull a knife on my husband in bed. I know too much, I know that. My husband cheats, and that is a fact. I say things I shouldnt say when others arent around. I curse out loud when my daughters are near. I say things that the two year olds just shouldnt hear. I cant help but think, what it would be like. What if I wasnt around, to feel these things inside. Who am I punishing, them or me? What do these things really mean? Am I crazy, am I insane? Are there really people running around in my head? I hear what they say, Telling me to stop being a baby, To just die alone in my bed. I dont want to think these things. I dont want to hear what they want to say. Please make them all go away. Do you understand what I write? Of course you dont. You dont know what its like.