The Versions That Haunt Me

I have too many regrets
they bloom like tumors
in the soft tissue of memory,
each one pulsing with
what I should have said
before silence set in
like rigor mortis.

I swallowed whole versions of myself
the reckless, the brave,
the boy who ran
before the door slammed shut.

Now I speak in echoes
of things I almost did.
I wear lives
that were never mine
borrowed skin
stitched with trembling hands.

Time doesn’t pass.
It repeats.
A loop of almosts,
a static scream
beneath my breath.

I reach for moments
already burning.
Beg the past
to hold still
while I cut it open
and try to crawl inside.

But every thread frays.
Every version unravels.
Every choice I didn’t make
drags a knife
through the one that did.

And what’s left?

This composite ghost.
This broken archive.
This aching
palimpsest of a person
who once believed
he had time.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025

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Dillenbeck Avatar
June 28, 2025 at 8:11 AM
Amen. And thanks for introducing me to "palimpsest". It is so holistically organic to this piece that it seems iconic to your iconoclastic reflection. Note: In the verse beginning, "But every thread frays" I think you could choose to reverse "version" and "choice". So, Every choice unravels. Every version I didn't make drags a knife through the one I did, which may better foreshadow use of "palimpsest"
Bahr Avatar
June 18, 2025 at 8:19 PM
That says so much. Worthy of much thought. Thank you.
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