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The Undertaker

The undertaker anticipates a better day His plans include some needed lawnmowing, He winds up two ne'er-do-wells stowing Without resources their expenses to pay The mere cost for a proper putting-away, While his grass continues to grow knee high As he waits for a moneyed man to die Someone to keep his creditors at bay, Such a day does make for sleepless nights Hoping for the best, needing the worse To make the payment on his brand new hearse. Written September 8, 2022

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Caren Krutsinger

Date: 9/13/2022 6:43:00 AM

I love this "Hoping for the best, needing the worse"

L Milton Hankins
Date: 9/13/2022 8:23:00 AM

I suppose they kind of live with this every day.

Linda Alice Fowler

Date: 9/9/2022 8:04:00 AM

Ha Milt! My niece is a funeral director (mortician, bone collector). She doesn't have time to cut the grass, or wish for more death - seems it's perfect job security :) She will love this, as I do! Linda

L Milton Hankins
Date: 9/9/2022 8:24:00 AM

I have a first cousin who inherited his parents funeral home in W.Va. He always wanted to be a fireman, but his parents have made him quite successful (and wealthy). We jokingly say he was adopted with a silver spoon in his mouth! Seriously, Tommy is a fine fellow and a very fine funeral director.

Jenna Logan

Date: 9/9/2022 7:02:00 AM

Somehow you turned the undertaker's woes into something more serious than death, but you did it quite well. He might've put off buying those new wheels.

L Milton Hankins
Date: 9/9/2022 8:25:00 AM

True, Jenna. He probably should have saved up first.

John Lawless

Date: 9/9/2022 4:54:00 AM

perhaps he's looking for a "hearse" of a different color

L Milton Hankins
Date: 9/9/2022 8:25:00 AM

(chuckling)

Tom Cunningham

Date: 9/9/2022 2:30:00 AM

Lol, sounds like his business is dying (groan)

L Milton Hankins
Date: 9/9/2022 8:27:00 AM

He gets very few complaints from his clients, Tom. (groan even more!) My uncle used his "slab" to wash my aunt's hair. She told him it was too hard to be comfortable. He told her he doesn't get any complaints. Actually happened. My aunt died a few months back at 102. My cousin inherited the funeral home...and the fortune, I might add.

Michael Tor

Date: 9/8/2022 10:05:00 PM

LOL. I wonder Milton what their real frame of mind is like in real life? For instance when they want to buy a Hearst like you mentioned. Are they wishing more people would die? It is a place I would not want to be in or a profession I would want to participate in. I always thought they were a strange bunch, but I guess they are needed and I am glad I do not have to do their Job, would absolutely not want too. Thanks for the irony in this one you created in me Milton. Have a good evening...

L Milton Hankins
Date: 9/9/2022 8:28:00 AM

With a funeral home in the family, I have a better understanding of the profession. No, they really don't want people to die, but they recognize the inevitability of it. Something many of us don't wish to acknowledge.

Jeff Kyser

Date: 9/8/2022 2:08:00 PM

Ha, I like this. I don't want be on his "to do" list, lol.

L Milton Hankins
Date: 9/8/2022 8:01:00 PM

Me neither, Jeff. I figured you would get a kick out of it.