The Silent Scream
When in that moment in my life
I did not believe it was actually happening to me
That just couldn't be
The longer I sat in that bed
I soon realized I was not dreaming
Nor living in a false reality
This was
MY
Reality
And I was living my worst nightmare
I can picture everything that went down that night
Like it was playing out infront of me
Almost like seeing a movie you've seen 100 times
And even so each time you watch it
Something new
Shows it self
Each time you re-watch it
I remember thinking that these people must really hate their job right now
I remember them taking everything out of the room before I came in
I remember them telling me I need to calm down
I remember them drawing my blood
Each tear a raindrop, torn apart
I remember being so tired I couldn't sleep
I remember feeling like a failure
I remember being so mad at myself
I remember being there for what feels like forever
In the leading up weeks nothing mattered to me
Like a broken mirror, unable to be fixed piece by piece, reflecting nothing more than who I truly was
Like a candle burning itself out, smothered by its our flame, In desperate need to extinguish the pain
Like a fading photo, losing all color, clarity, slipping into oblivion
But of course
That was't the worst part
That was't even the start.
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