The Saga of Suzanne the snowflake and Cyril the racist ware squirrel part 1

Cyril is a squirrel that comes from the Wirral, he looks cute and furry but he's gone a bit feral, Cyril dislikes foreign squirrels, won't hear no ifs or buts, he says the tide of squirrelgrants are going to have all the nuts, Cyril voted ukip and cheered when brexit won, The says 'now we've taken back control, got the eurocats on the run', Cyril thinks that Farage is just a wicked bloke, he'd like to sit inside the pub with him and rant and drink and smoke, he says that Nigel's got it and speaks with the common squirrel's voice, now we're leaving Europe we have simple choice, strong and stable nut trees or bremoaners whining, jeez - surely empress Theresa must be the best of these. He thinks that every squirrel, should be free to gather as many nuts, as he is physically able and if that means some cuts, to furry mammal welfare that's just the price you pay, for strong and stable government, it's the neo-squirriberal way. Now Suzanne's a cosmic yoga teacher, with her chakras all aligned, she sees the good in everyone, wants peace for all mankind. She took her mum out shopping, to Tescos in Ledbelly town, parked the car and got her bags for life and prepared to shop on down, she needed organic yeast free beansprouts and free range yoghurt with which to knit, a tea cosy for the Dalai lama, (she thinks he's really fit). But at the storefront entrance, a standoff was in full swing, a fearsome beast with claws and teeth and lot's of tats and bling, was scaring all the customers! -the staff couldn't do a thing, they said 'you'll have to go to Aldi, for if we open up, Cyril the squirrel will trash the place!', Suzanne said 'wassup'?, Suzanne's sense of social justice began to kick in now, she said 'he's got a point you know, I'm being a mardy cow'. She overturned the basket and said to Cyril run, go, be free and have some squirrel fun. And there the story might have ended (TBC)