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The Revolver

Scene 1: There once was a man filled with joy a wife, a home and a cute infant boy Everything was grand with twins on the way. A spontaneous dog who liked to play. One day in the spring He'd receive a call. It was about his family. the phone would suddenly fall. Scene 2: The car came out of nowhere smashing head on the passenger side Killing the infant son immediately, in the ambulance his wife would ride. Para-medics rushed frantically to relieve the blood draining from her head. With the severity of the wounds death was inevitable, They said!! At one thirty-four this spring afternoon, Four citizens were pronounced dead. Someones wife, someones children That is what the obituary read. Scene 3: A month later in the basement of his quaint little country home. He sat for hours thinking. Sulking, alone. The thoughts of re-uniting with the family he once had. Drunk now thinking suicide, he knew it would be bad. Palms sweaty, vision blurred. Vexed, praying for what comes next. Reaching for the instrument, his mind perplexed. Scene 4: He lifts the Smith & Wesson revolver from its resting place. Thinking of nothing but his family placing it in the middle of his face. Pulls the trigger, at that moment all went black!! Scene 5: He wakes up SUDDENLY... His puppy licking his eye. He looks at his dog, then begins to cry. When pulling the trigger of this canon of a gun. Instead of death he passed out. As for bullets, there were none.. Jared Pickett 10/17/09 Asavvy1

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009




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Date: 4/21/2010 9:09:00 AM
Nice 4th place win! Would you send me your e-mail bro? I have a poem in mind 4 us to collaborate..I've already don my half and your the perfect poet for the other half...It's called "The Duel". So send me your e-mail if you'd like to..andersonjimmy19@yahoo.com..Looking forward to doing this! Peace, Jimmy
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Date: 4/18/2010 11:24:00 AM
Jared..I'm glad he didn't get to use the gun...I don't know what inspired your poem..but I have a friend that lost his young wife and daughter because their car stalled on the railroad track and a train crashed into them...congratulations on your win....Marty
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Date: 4/17/2010 3:11:00 PM
Congratulations Jared. I was glad to find out that the gun was empty. Love, joyce
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Date: 4/14/2010 10:22:00 AM
Hey Jared, Congratulations on your win, Bro!...haven't heard back from you about the collaboration...holler back! ...later, Jimmy
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Date: 4/13/2010 3:50:00 PM
Big Big Huge Congrats Lone Wolf on your wonderful winning poem in Laura's contest... OK so u placed ahead of Mama Bear and rightly so with this "beauty" of a write.. enjoy and see u are being recognized finally for your magnificent talents... see u at the winners circle..luv.. "Sweetheart"
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Date: 10/24/2009 11:46:00 AM
This is a masterful narration, Jared. The part about the puppy who survived, when the rest of the man's family did not, seems to suggest, that God had reason for the man to live, to fulfill an undisclosed purpose. A purpose to live and fulfill in life. This is a beauty, A favorite for me. Sincerely, Moses GOES INTO FAVORITES
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Date: 10/21/2009 12:05:00 PM
Painted a scene and pulled me in. Great description and rhyme. Good topic. I could feel the man's pain. Thanks for the comments on my poetry. "He Was Smoking Hot" was to get one's attention and the poem was about smoking. I have a grandson who lives with me and he smokes and uses dip. It is the messiest habits. Keep writing. Sara
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Date: 10/18/2009 12:14:00 PM
Sad poem, this echoes a strong reality. The thoughts that plaque the mind after a tragedy like this is haunting. Stunning and profound...Raul
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things