Jan Allison Poet Ghazal

Notes About The Poem

The Point of No Return

I tried to reason with you, but you turned your back on me
Tears formed in my eyes so blue, but you turned your back on me.

When I arranged to meet, you said you were working till late -
Then I saw you out with Sue, but you turned your back on me.

What went so wrong between us - I thought everything was fine
You swore rumours were untrue, but you turned your back on me.

Our son misses his daddy; he’s too young to understand
I prayed each night we weren’t through, but you turned your back on me.

I can’t understand why you walked out on your family
Why you’ve bid us both adieu, but you turned your back on me.


Syllable checked with how many syllables – 14 per line. Ghazal form

H/M in original Contest which was judged in March
Submitted to second chance #2 contest Sponsored by Broken Wings awarded 1st place 4/14/16

Submitted to First place only contest sponsored by Laura Loo


03~19~16

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Carrie Richards October 23, 2016 at 7:50 PM The repeated line makes the poem stand out even more! Well done, Jan !!! Jan Allison October 24, 2016 at 3:52 AM Thanks Carrie:-) I had never written this form before and got an HM in the original contest but a first with Constance. It is a sad sad poem:-( hugs Janxx

Agnes Krampe October 23, 2016 at 7:45 PM Congrats, Jan. What a sad situation :( Jan Allison October 24, 2016 at 3:51 AM Thanks Agnes:-) hugs Jan xx

Darren White October 23, 2016 at 1:50 PM Congrats Jan ;) I love this poem of yours! Jan Allison October 23, 2016 at 2:08 PM Thanks Darren I can write serious stuff too - thankfully the sad stuff is from my imagination:-) But I know for some it is a sad reality:-( hugs Jan xx

Phillip Garcia October 23, 2016 at 11:05 AM I guess everyone's crying today. This is twice now this poem has brought me to full weep. I hope you've been well, I miss ya you know? Jan Allison October 23, 2016 at 12:17 PM I've not been active on soup as much Phillip find it hard to keep up with reads, comments and writing especially at the moment:-) I am well thanks for asking :-) hugs Jan xx

Beautiful Scars October 23, 2016 at 10:36 AM so true about so many marriages with children involved too. Heartbreaking Jan, loved it. Congratulations on your placement and thank you for being a part of my contest :)-luloo Jan Allison October 23, 2016 at 12:16 PM I got an n/a first time round Luloo and was so grateful it placed well in Constance's contest and now in yours:-) hugs Jan xx

Reason A. Poteet April 28, 2016 at 2:35 PM How appropriate to so many breakups - far too many though this is fictional in your life. Both prayers and reasoning do not always turn as as we wish-great choice for the repeating line of this ghazal. Jan Allison April 28, 2016 at 4:08 PM Unfortunately there are so many break downs in relationships - I really enjoyed this challenge as it was my first attempt at this form:-) hugs jan xx

Poet Destroyer A April 27, 2016 at 11:20 PM Jan, Congratulations on your "Second Chance #2 WIN." Love LINDA Jan Allison April 28, 2016 at 2:28 AM Many thanks Linda:-) hugs Jan xx

Sandra Haight April 17, 2016 at 3:49 PM Hi Jan, congratulations on your First Place win in the second chance contest! Hugs, Sandra Jan Allison April 17, 2016 at 3:53 PM Thanks Sandra I do like these second chance contests to give us the opportunity to showcase a poem again :-) hugs Jan xx

Vladislav Raven March 29, 2016 at 5:35 PM Hi Jan, an emotional write. An excellent write, it goes into my faves. Congratulations on your win in the contest....Vlad. Jan Allison March 29, 2016 at 5:38 PM Many thanks Mike I do appreciate your support:-) hugs Jan xx

Joanna Daniel March 28, 2016 at 2:09 AM A heart touching write:) loved the simplicity and the flow of it:) congratulations on your HM:) Jan Allison March 28, 2016 at 5:38 AM Thanks Jo:-) hugs Jan xx

Poet Destroyer A March 27, 2016 at 11:59 AM Jan, thank you for replying to my comment. Pd

Poet Destroyer A March 27, 2016 at 9:34 AM Great win Jan... Congrats. Pd Jan Allison March 27, 2016 at 11:43 AM Thanks so much Linda:-) hugs jan xx

James Inman March 27, 2016 at 8:58 AM Oh Jan, such a sad but beautiful write. I'm glad to see it was fiction. Well done! Jan Allison March 27, 2016 at 9:04 AM Thanks James:-) hugs jan xx

Brian Davey March 27, 2016 at 2:07 AM So very sad of a story here Jan, congrats on your placement I hope it didn't cause you too much pain to put to paper Jan Allison March 27, 2016 at 8:36 AM Thankfully for me it is total fiction Brian:-) hugs jan xx

Timothy Hicks March 27, 2016 at 12:05 AM Congrats on your HM, Jan! A good first attempt at the ghazal form ... this seemed like a personal story to me, was it? I know I've probably asked this question on some of your other poems, too, but I'm always curious ... very sad situation, that many families fall victim too ... the hurt of betrayal ... Jan Allison March 27, 2016 at 12:34 AM No - thankfully its pure fiction for me Timothy:-)Hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich March 21, 2016 at 3:55 PM hey, do you have anything I have never seen? Can't seem to find anything right now! Jan Allison March 21, 2016 at 3:59 PM I am sure there are lots lol - need to get writing and posting lol:-) hugs jan xx

Thomas Martin March 20, 2016 at 11:29 AM Wonderful write, Jan.sorry have not been around foe a while! Jan Allison March 20, 2016 at 11:31 AM Lovely to see you back Thomas - I wasn't around much last week but am back writing again now:-)Hope you are well:-) hugs jan xx

CayCay Godwin March 20, 2016 at 7:07 AM I know it is fiction so I was able to just enjoy the talent. This one is dramatic, very much so, which should serve it well. All the best ... CayCay Jan Allison March 20, 2016 at 11:25 AM It's my first attempt at this form - I still want to work on the final lines if I have time:-) hugs jan xx

Eve Roper March 19, 2016 at 9:58 PM Oh l like this put a picture to it girl Hugs eve Jan Allison March 20, 2016 at 5:31 AM OMG Eve I've just realised my gold star is back - I'm a bit shocked and teary - the PM fairy has struck and I have someone to be so thankful to:-) I'm all emotional now:-) hugs jan xx

Pashang Salehi March 19, 2016 at 11:35 AM Jan, This so beautiful....I hate Sue!!! Pashang Salehi August 4, 2016 at 10:21 PM You're so talented.... I read it again and I loved even more.. Jan Allison March 19, 2016 at 1:07 PM LOL Pashang - thankfully it is a fictional write just for the contest:-) hugs Jan xx

Lenny Gazbowski March 19, 2016 at 8:14 AM Very sad write. Jan Allison March 19, 2016 at 8:22 AM Thanks Lenny thankfully it is a fiction write for the contest:-) hugs Jan xx

Darren Knight March 19, 2016 at 4:57 AM Good luck with the contest, Jan. This piece is sad, but beautifully articulated with each line and word you have put down. Great poem :) Jan Allison March 19, 2016 at 5:34 AM Thanks so much Darren:-) hugs Jan xx

White Sage March 19, 2016 at 3:39 AM excellent ghazal, though sad, it's good this is fictional, best of luck in the contest Jan Jan Allison March 19, 2016 at 5:34 AM Thanks White Sage its my first attempt at this form:-) hugs Jan xx

Nette Onclaud March 19, 2016 at 1:27 AM ohh, so nice to read you again, jan... stunning piece; did you get my mail?.. huggs Jan Allison March 19, 2016 at 5:34 AM Thanks Nette will reply soon:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich March 18, 2016 at 9:23 PM hey, very nicely done, jan!! The one thing I don't really like about this form is putting our name in the third person. It's so strange to me when the rest of it uses I. Anyway, you thought up a good way to do it. Jan Allison March 19, 2016 at 5:36 AM I would prefer to use I and it keeps the anonymity too:-) hugs Jan xx

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