Premiere Contest WinnerThe Old Stream and Seasons Past

The old stream doesn’t burble 
like it used to in Spring’s past -
rambunctious in youth  wild it ran
racing the sun and chasing the moon
splashing  leaping  and  tumbling 
over, down and around  rocks in its shallow channel -
giving it rollicking laughter

The old stream doesn’t play with sunlight 
like it used to in Summer’s past -
when unending yellow dahlia days gentled its flow 
allowing for reflections and explorations around each bend
and for savoring saffron skies and plum-shaded shadows 
that seemingly stretched on forever -
giving it invincibility

Autumn saw a change in the old stream 
under a herald of goldenrod fireworks
waters waned becoming tired and tamed 
its banks and shoaly bed littered with Fall’s golds and reds;
a once lilting voice grew quieter
as nocturnal rhythms trespassed towards winter’s solstice
and under the cover of darkness 
a cool moon stole the stream’s slow dance with the sun -
giving it vulnerability

The old stream remembered not the goldenrod days
nor the purpose of its earthly path -
Winter charged in on his frosty horse robust with rime
and laid his icy hands upon the sleepy stream - 
draining its dreams of a pulse beneath a frozen facade..

but from below the stilled surface a silver current flowed free
… giving the stream eternity.


Susan Ashley 
April 12, 1019


~ First Place ~
Premiere Contest: 2022 Poetry Marathon Mile 23
Sponsor: Mark Toney


*Rime: frost formed on cold objects by the rapid freezing of water vapor in clouds or fog.*
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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Mcintosh Avatar
January 16, 2023 at 1:49 AM
Brilliant writing! I so love this! It's a fave for sure. God bless you and Congrats. Love, Gina
Ashley Avatar
January 16, 2023 at 7:55 AM
Dearest Gina, it's so wonderful to see you! Thank you for your embrace of this poem. Your precious thoughts mean so much to me. Both your heartwarming congrats and fave are held in my deepest appreciation, as is your shining friendship always. Warmest wishes and love, ~Susan
Kauffman Avatar
January 13, 2023 at 11:05 AM
My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, this is one amazing metaphoric write sweet poetry sis! The imagery fleshing out the metaphor of the river running through time leaves me quite breathless -"yellow dahlia days," "winter charged in on a frosty horse robust with rime." Wonderful contrast - a robust season in the waning days of the river. I love your floral images in each season. Congratulations to you dear friend on your win. Sending you blessings of asters for your dahlia and goldenrod days.
Ashley Avatar
January 14, 2023 at 6:27 PM
My Dearest Rhyme Time Friend, the beauty of your deep and meaningful comments and kind congrats leave me breathless. Your heartfelt sentiments are truly uplifting and I relish every syllable of every golden word you write. Thank you, my wonderful poetry sis, your radiant heart shines brighter than a "yellow dahlia day", and I treasure the light and joy and love you bring. Warmest wishes sent on vibrant-saffron and peaceful-plum colored clouds.. ~Susan
Radice Avatar
January 7, 2023 at 3:59 AM
Quite simply a metaphoric masterpiece Susan. Cheers - Gary
Ashley Avatar
January 9, 2023 at 9:26 AM
Dear Gary, your visit is a delight! Thank you for your uplifting comment, I am humbled and honored, my friend. Your poetic artistry never fails to move and mesmerize me. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Watt Avatar
January 6, 2023 at 2:37 PM
Vivaldi's "The Four Seasons" are playing the soundtrack in my mind as your river flows majestically downstream, dear PS-PS! Peeling back one layer of life at a time, as spring morphs into summer and youth transmogrifies into the vintage years. Oh, I wish I had written this masterpiece, with its seamless imagery of nature and aging... I just love "savoring saffron skies and plum-shaded shadows". The crowning glory is that silver current of the invincible youthful spirit ever flowing beneath the frozen surface. Warm congrats for your trophy win and marathon successes! ~ PoBro
Ashley Avatar
January 9, 2023 at 9:24 AM
Oh my dearest PoBro, I am listening to Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" as I respond to your exquisite comments! I am honored and so very moved by your precious words, and hold each sparkling syllable in my heart's appreciation. Thank you for sharing in the 'seasons' of this poem with me, I relish your inspiring depth and insightful breadth. So grateful for your soulful shine upon my poem. Your warm congrats are savored, your wonderful friendship is cherished. Warmest wishes, John.. ~your PS-PS <3
Clarke Avatar
January 5, 2023 at 9:42 AM
Such beautiful detail, imagism and creativity. Congratulations on your beautiful win 'Poet Laureate'.
Ashley Avatar
January 9, 2023 at 8:55 AM
Dear W J, I am honored by your inspiring comments and kind congrats. Also, so happy to know you enjoyed my poem.. happier still to have received your lovely thoughts, they are so very heartwarming. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Lane Avatar
January 5, 2023 at 6:21 AM
Susan, poetess extraordinaire, from the moment someone told me there was a marathon contest taking place I knew that if you'd entered, you'd break the tape across the last mile. I've enjoyed each mile we've raced together, although I didn't put on my sneakers until Mile 8. lol Congratulations on another leg of victory!
Ashley Avatar
January 9, 2023 at 8:49 AM
Dear Lin, your eloquence takes my breath away, your thoughts are wonderfully expressed and so very moving. The marathon contest is not over till the tape is broken across that last mile.. and with the cordial competition as talented as it is, I take nothing for granted. I'm so happy to be racing to the finish line with you. Your exquisite artistry has lifted the quality of the marathon to beyond exceptional. I have no doubt that if your sneakers had been on at mile 1 you'd be leaving us behind in your poetic pixie dust. Thank you, my friend, for your inspiring words. I am filled with gratitude for both the beauty of your friendship and the passion of your poetry. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
George Avatar
January 5, 2023 at 5:43 AM
The same thoughts that came to Mark's mind also came to me on reading this metaphoric poem. After the stream's ebullient ride through shoals and rocks, splashing, leaping and tumbling, it slowed down, its frenetic dancing movements stopped and its rollicking laughter stilled. All through autumn it was like a sedate pilgrim pacing slowly on its pilgrimage, tired and exhausted. With winter, it lay absolutely still, but beneath its frozen facade, a new pulse throbbed connecting it to eternity.Love the first stanza and the concluding stanza. Congratulations Ashley on your well desrved trophy win.
Ashley Avatar
January 9, 2023 at 8:33 AM
Dear Valsa, your ebullient comments brighten my day and my heart! Thank you for sharing your treasured thoughts with me. Your return visit and heartwarming congrats fill me with gratitude for both your friendship and for your perceptive soul. Warmest wishes, my sweet friend and brilliant poet.. ~Susan
Toney Avatar
January 4, 2023 at 7:31 PM
Susan, I see this as a beautiful, metaphoric depiction of our lifeforce, from spring's "wild" stream "splashing leaping and tumbling," to summer's "invincibility" followed by autumn's "vulnerability," ending with winter's `sleepy stream frozen facade.' But under the "stilled surface a silver current flowed free - giving the stream eternity." There are still a few days I feel like I can draw energy from that :) A Fav Poem for me. Congratulations on your first-place finish on Mile 23 of my 2022 Poetry Marathon.
Ashley Avatar
January 6, 2023 at 7:50 AM
Dear Mark, your insightful comments are received with gratitude. Indeed, this poem was inspired by my beloved dad. His lifeforce was a wonderful force.. until it waned in his early nineties. I believe the zest of his energy flows eternally, and like you, I draw energy and comfort from that. Thank you, Mark, for your heartwarming congrats. I am honored by both the distinction of my poem's placement amongst the gifted poets on your list and by your fav. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Kyser Avatar
January 4, 2023 at 7:06 PM
Congrats on your win, Susan. You are knocking these out of the park!
Ashley Avatar
January 5, 2023 at 8:30 PM
Dear Jeff, your visit is a delight! Thank you for your uplifting comment and heartwarming congrats. Your poetic artistry is amazing, my friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
George Avatar
June 7, 2022 at 4:40 AM
The stream's course represents the different seasons of life. In spring it babbled and burbled like a child with unsteady steps.... splashing and tumbling. In summer, like a youth, it dallied with sunlight ever exploring new regions and having varied experiences. In autumn, it lost its music and supple movements and in winter it became a sleepy old thing, but with the current of life still passing through its core and heading to eternity.... ! Beautiful metaphoric poem, dear Susan....!
Ashley Avatar
June 10, 2022 at 7:59 PM
Dearest Valsa, your wondrous comments capture the spirit of this poem so beautifully. I revel in your gracious visit and grand insight. I am both humbled and honored to receive such splendid comments from such a gifted poetess as yourself, Valsa. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me, they are held in my truest appreciation. Warmest wishes, my sweet friend.. ~Susan
B. Avatar
April 23, 2019 at 7:11 AM
Dear Sweet Susan, you had created a Glorious free verse!! Penned so beautifully, flowed perfectly like the Old Stream.. Excellent how you added different stages along the way.. Your masterpiece is a fave for me!! As always dear friend, your talent always shines!! Have a blessed day!!
Ashley Avatar
April 23, 2019 at 7:56 PM
My esteemed and lovely friend, your uplifting comments and fav mean the world to me. I am deeply moved by your precious thoughts and to know you enjoyed my poem, Robertina. Thank you for sharing your treasured sentiments with me. I haven't been able to be here much lately and I miss your wondrous poetry.. I look forward to catching up with your beauties. Warmest wishes always my wonderful friend.. ~Susan
Callus Avatar
April 17, 2019 at 3:09 PM
Beautiful...excellent in its metaphorical ability to meander through life's various stages. A stream eventually arrives home where it is welcomed with open arms, like the ocean awaiting its arrival. I love the imagery and emotions which it evokes. ~ Warm regards & hugs my friend. Also wishing you a Happy Easter. // paul
Ashley Avatar
April 19, 2019 at 8:29 PM
Your valued presence and wonderful feedback fills me with inspiration and delight, Paul. Thank you for your precious comments, it pleases me immensely to know you enjoyed my poem and the beauty of your critique is truly appreciated. Warmest wishes for a happy Easter, my dear friend.. ~Susan
Michael Avatar
April 17, 2019 at 3:06 PM
I would like to go like that old stream...it would worth more than all the gold in the world...Lovely write...worthy of a hug...All the best Susan
Ashley Avatar
April 19, 2019 at 8:20 PM
Indeed, Arturo, to go like the old stream would be priceless.. Your glowing words warm my heart. Thank you for your precious comments. Warmest wishes for a happy Easter, mon ami.. ~Susan
Scars Avatar
April 14, 2019 at 1:11 PM
wow...amazingly perfect. I am so glad I stopped by today sweet Susan :)-luloo
Ashley Avatar
April 15, 2019 at 5:41 PM
Lu, your wonderful presence and gracious comments are such a joy to receive. Thank you for sharing your precious thoughts with me. Warmest wishes always my lovely friend.. ~Susan
Melugin Avatar
April 14, 2019 at 12:45 PM
My dear Susan...This stellar depiction of life left me in awe of a stellar poetess!
Ashley Avatar
April 15, 2019 at 5:39 PM
Oh Chuck, your sweetness is swoon worthy.. you always bring me a bouquet of smiles and I truly treasure your generous comments and I’m honored by your friendship. I’m so pleased you enjoyed my poem. Warmest wishes my inspiring friend.. ~Susan
Lamoureux Avatar
April 14, 2019 at 9:50 AM
What a special piece, filled with delicious imagery. It evokes splendour and sadness. Art is best expressed in contrasts. Hugs Rick.
Ashley Avatar
April 16, 2019 at 6:57 PM
Your sweet and inspiring comments touch my heart, Richard. I'm so happy you enjoyed my poem and happier still to have received your lovely thoughts. Warmest wishes always, my friend.. ~Susan
Riabi Dziri Avatar
April 14, 2019 at 6:00 AM
A powerful expressive diction entertwined with a masterful brush of an artist whose scope of imagination of no boundaries.. to portray a gripping imagery and a profound poetry that resonates with an avid reader, penning their minds and hearts of "seasons past"! A great delight to feel your genuine words dearest Susan.. a FAV. Love and hugs. Blessings.
Ashley Avatar
April 16, 2019 at 6:49 PM
My dearest friend, Besma, please accept my apologies in my delay in honoring your kind words with my many thanks. Your shining light has been sorely missed and your glowing presence is truly embraced. I am so delighted that my passionate pen spilled ink that touched your lovely heart. Your precious thoughts fill me appreciation for your positive feedback, and I thank you for gracing my poem with your touching comments and fav. My warmest wishes, love and hugs to you always, my inspiring soul sister.. ~Susan
Lindley Avatar
April 13, 2019 at 1:45 PM
Truly exceptional verse my dear friend. An image feast to sate one's poetic hungers... A bright glowing gem and an exquisite fav too..
Ashley Avatar
April 15, 2019 at 3:55 PM
My esteemed friend, your uplifting comments and fav mean the world to me. I am truly touched to know you enjoyed my poem, Robert. Thank you for sharing your treasured thoughts with me. Warmest wishes always my wonderful friend.. ~Susan
Sharp Avatar
April 13, 2019 at 1:41 AM
This poem captures a forlorn beauty in its imagery, Susan. Splendid and poignant.
Ashley Avatar
April 15, 2019 at 3:16 PM
Your glowing words warm my heart, Lawrence. Thank you for your precious comments that so inspire me to reach ever higher. Warmest wishes always my gracious friend.. ~Susan
Krutsinger Avatar
April 12, 2019 at 10:10 PM
Your imagery is so amazingly beautiful, it feels like it was written by God's hand, Susan.
Ashley Avatar
April 15, 2019 at 3:18 PM
I am deeply moved by your most generous comments, Caren. Your precious thoughts are truly appreciated and are so uplifting. Warmest wishes always my lovely friend.. ~Susan
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