The Mind Intruder

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My husband of 40 years was bipolar, although not diagnosed until we had been married twelve.

I wrote this poem as a way to honor his struggles and those of everyone involved.

Bipolar affects all ages, preferably the young. Stress can trigger a single episode. Add to that illegal drugs or steroids, which can also trigger mania. Bipolar is the most familial brain disorder. Ten percent can inherit this disquiet. Treatments vary, hospitalizations abound:all palliative, but no cure is in sight.

It steals silently in the dark night, wrapping your mind into its arms, telling tales of your majesty, enhancing stories of your many charms. Soon you feel on top of the world. Nothing can get in your way. Everything's perfect: you made it so. You, the ruler of all your survey. Money has suddenly grown on trees. You talk ceaselessly, not eat a bite. You ride along on the mania trip where everything seems to excite. Your opposite is depth of depression. Ennui invades everything now. You've come down with a terrible sadness; the weight of the world furrows your brow. Sleep becomes your only refuge. About your dreams, one hasn't a clue. When roused from sleep, you stare at TV, and stare at the ceiling long periods, too. This is the roller coaster of your life, a ride one would not willingly take. The ups very high, the downs very low, the mediums you must forsake. For those caretakers with a loved one afflicted with this terrible assault: you ride up and down on waves of their mind because you realize no one is at fault.

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Vijay Pandit

Date: 6/11/2021 12:29:00 PM

Well delivered poem Ann--it makes an impact. I feel the pain in your poetic voice.

Ann Peck
Date: 6/11/2021 2:42:00 PM

Thank you for commenting, Vijay. There was pain watching the highs and lows, but he could be quite funny when manic. Depression, tho: not something I would ask for.

Laura Leiser

Date: 6/11/2021 9:39:00 AM

There are bipolar people in our family and it is difficult to see them suffer. Your heartfelt and caring poem brings their plight to light in such a kind and sympathetic way, Ann. I feel for you, as you have had to deal with this on a daily basis with the one you love. Thanks for sharing. :)

Ann Peck
Date: 6/11/2021 2:37:00 PM

Laura, thank you so much for your comments. I'm so sorry this has affected your family. It's a terrible disorder, but it taught me compassion.

Daniel Turner

Date: 6/11/2021 9:07:00 AM

It seems the highs are almost giddy and the lows can be self destructive. I have had close relations with a few folks diagnosed as bipolar. You have written about it so well, Ann. I know some folks take lithium for it and it seems to help quite a bit. You are a good woman to have stuck it out, most can't.

Ann Peck
Date: 6/11/2021 2:34:00 PM

Giddy is a good word for the mania. And, yes, many in depression commit suicide. My husband took lithium for many years. He changed doctors and that one gave him a cocktail. Thanks for your comments, Daniel.

Rico Leffanta

Date: 6/9/2021 11:13:00 AM

Well done! I suspect it is genetic, so keep an eye on the kids! Aloha! Rico

Ann Peck
Date: 6/9/2021 1:41:00 PM

Very much so. My husband's father had it, he had it, and one son has it. Aloha!

Heidi Sands

Date: 6/8/2021 5:15:00 PM

You have described this diagnosis so well with your writing to help others understand, Ann. It is sad to know that people do not have a choice to go through this and it can impact those around them too. Thanks for sharing :)

Ann Peck
Date: 6/9/2021 1:43:00 PM

Thanks so much for commenting, Heidi! Yes, a very awful disease that affects all involved with that person.