The Loon Upon the Lake

My legs ran fast; my back was strong
those sunny days when life seemed long
and whispered possibility! 
A loon far off was mocking me.

Instinctively, I took a road
and asked few questions as I strode.
But as I moved along carefree,
a loon somewhere was mocking me.

While strolling on, I did not stray
far from the path along my way,
found neither fame nor infamy. . . .
but one lone loon kept mocking me.

I felt my body, like a length
of relic fabric, losing strength,
and as it tattered, I could see
the loon that had been mocking me!

It’s now with care and with some dread
I tread to where there waits ahead
the lake that mirrors destiny. . . 
That lone and mocking loon is me.

 From July, 2010
2022 Poetry Marathon Mile 19 Poetry Contest
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010

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12
Kauffman Avatar
November 15, 2022 at 10:23 AM
Andrea, congratulations on your win. This poem overflows with the emotion of one looking deeply into themselves. I like the use of the loon throughout only to discover that the song of the loon is your song. Lovely write! Blessings.
Jayasankar Avatar
November 14, 2022 at 10:57 PM
Aw this is so creative in Kyrielle form from my favorite inspiring poetess... Many beautiful lines Ria... and the surprising ending... How are you my friend? Shall be writing to you soon... Congratulations on your win in Marathon contest... Big hugs... ~ Ani
Watt Avatar
November 13, 2022 at 11:22 PM
This is really amazing writing, Andrea... truly worthy of your win. Well crafted and composed with an engaging arc and surprise ending. Really love the lines "I felt my body, like a length of relic fabric, losing strength", and as always your flawless meter and flow. Congrats, my friend - going in my faves.
Ashley Avatar
November 12, 2022 at 6:04 PM
Dear Andrea, your soulful poem is so beautiful. Indeed, it resonates with me, my friend. Congratulations for your excellent win in Mark's contest. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Toney Avatar
November 11, 2022 at 9:00 AM
Andrea, from one "lone and mocking loon" to another, your kyrielle is very cool and very humbling since I'm at the age now where I've experienced each and every one of your stanzas! Congratulations on your win on Mile 19 of my 2022 Poetry Marathon Contest. Keep your running shoes on because Mile 20 has already started.
Canerdy Avatar
November 11, 2022 at 7:35 AM
I suppose there is a "loon" in everyone--mockingly urging us to DO while we CAN. Andrea, this is a deeply thoughtful and expressive piece. CONGRATS on your win! Janice
Horsman Avatar
November 30, 2012 at 8:59 AM
you have just wrote one of these type of poems and posted...this is intriguing, and i just love the imagery....
Poet Avatar
April 2, 2011 at 7:30 AM
Yes an intriguing write as nikko has commented.Liked it--kash
Walters Avatar
August 20, 2010 at 8:05 AM
Beautifully done Kyrielle, I love it when poems tell stories- whether concrete or metaphorical like this one. Just wonderful! hugs, Kris~
K. Avatar
July 23, 2010 at 2:03 AM
What a very intriguing write Andrea!! I must say, this could very well have been a great entry in my contest, haha loved the twist in the end-- & loved that line "the lake that mirrors destiny"-- very thought-provoking! hugs -- nikko :)
Sweetheart Avatar
July 18, 2010 at 11:32 AM
We are out visiting friends to share our wonderful news of the engagement and I have my cell with me right now doing this.. busy judging and posting my summer contest with Constance.. now my new one ..our new collaboration one is open.. so check it out.. Lyric for Constance's part.. guys are to enter mine with Rhyme or Enclosed Rhyme.. for Christmas in July.. was on till noon then we left.. will be back on late late tonight.. or off and on with cell as I can.. luv
Fraser Avatar
July 18, 2010 at 10:42 AM
Hey Andrea, this is pretty kool. My poem "Her Tomorrows" is not for any contest, but I so enjoyed writing it >> James
Smith-Johnsen Avatar
July 17, 2010 at 2:34 PM
Wow! That is marvelous! Keep up the wonderful writing, Andrea. Lovingly, Dane Ann
Adeite Avatar
July 17, 2010 at 10:10 AM
I don’t think I have seen a loon before but from what I just read and the picture I saw, I guess it must have been imagery that you are the loon. Okay, …I see that in the last stanza. This is a wonderful kyrielle. I love this form, I have written one and I am working on another but it is about romance and I don’t like posting piece about that theme except I am forced to. Check out for typo in the last stanza. Love. Adeleke
A   Avatar
July 17, 2010 at 6:34 AM
WoW! Andrea, Tim, admires you,, now talk about flirt,, lol,, No, I love your poem as well but no desire to ask you for a kisss,,lol,,,Sorry i had to read al your comments,, I am here enjoying myself on the soup today,..p.d.
Falotico Avatar
July 17, 2010 at 3:17 AM
Love this form.. great write, lovely flow and expressions...Always michael
Brumley Avatar
July 16, 2010 at 9:29 PM
I love to hear the loons croon! Have you ever listened to them, sooo beautiful. I briefly mentioned their song in my poem 'Three Messengers' which was my tribute to Sarah Teasdale. I tried to emulate her simple rhythmic flow and then added my own spiritual twist to it. She wrote a lot about birds and nature, my kinda poet! You too Girl, thanks again for honoring my poems.
Brumley Avatar
July 16, 2010 at 9:22 PM
Andrea, can I kiss you? This is beautiful, going into my faves right now! I'm also making you my first favorite author, congrats!
Ward Avatar
July 16, 2010 at 7:31 PM
Andrea, I have just been inspired once again. A really great write. Thank you for your comments on my work. Jerrri
Byrne Avatar
July 16, 2010 at 6:22 PM
this reads well!
Flaherty Avatar
July 16, 2010 at 6:18 PM
Hi Andrea, Thank you i am glad you enjoyed it, It was intention to be Funny a trait inherinted from my mummy , I am a mummys boy , She is my true pride and Joy. Cheers
Flaherty Avatar
July 16, 2010 at 5:55 PM
Hi Andrea Thank you for your comments , I am not a Sci Fi fan and the other poem is not about a impending girlfriend either , Honestly most of what i write is just what pops into my head. But the second poem was based around that indiscribable feeling of the anticipation of a first kiss. Glad you like it Cheers , Thank you
Flaherty Avatar
July 16, 2010 at 2:52 PM
Hello Andrea I can relate or i find meaning in this. I like the way you introduce your tale and how it leads up to the end and the fact it has a point. Nice
Kendrick Avatar
July 16, 2010 at 2:21 PM
Interesting presentation...Those inner struggles that hinder us sometimes.Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my work...Sara
Sweetheart Avatar
July 16, 2010 at 12:16 PM
Hi ..me again.. have u heard from Margaret Foster lately??? luv..
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