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The Long and Short Of It

I awakened about midnight in the middle of the day.
I was crawling swiftly toward you as I slowly raced away.
I hummed a merry melody that truly had no tune
As I ate my cup of coffee and then drank my bowl of prune.
The pot of beans boiled over upon the pristine ceiling
So I tossed out the banana and I ate the wormy peeling.
The cat was barking at me and the happy dog meowed
As I stood out there so lonely in the middle of a crowd.
The sun was shining brightly in a snowy blackened sky,
I was a girl so much in hate I wished I that I could die.

The wilted flowers were nice and fresh just as they ought to be,
The ugly ones you sent me from  so far across the sea.
The postman brought the email that I had mailed to you.
He said it had no stamp and so he couldn't let it through.
I long so much to see you and to look in your brown eye
And I cannot wait to hold you and to say a sad goodbye.
If you want to read my letter, please do call me yesterday. 
I cannot wait to see you so please take the long hard way.
My daddy said he’s happy to give you my eager hand,
The one that’s always begging for his money, understand.

The guests are now arriving in their wrinkled, tattered rags
And the ushers have been drinking rare champagne from paper bags.
The musicians have their bag pipes out to play a cheerful dirge.
And I'm waiting for my bridegroom from his boudoir to emerge.
The honored guests are seated in the front of the back row
And the flower girl is directing everybody where to go.
The preacher stands beside me as I search the smoke filled room
For a candidate who's better than is my intended groom.
You know I love you more than all the pimples on my face,
As I claim you as my husband in your denim dress of lace.




Oxymoronica Contest by Kristen Bruni  13th p[lace

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011




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Date: 2/22/2011 7:51:00 AM
Congratulations Joyce on your win in Kristen Bruni's contest "Oxymoronica". Love, Carol
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Date: 2/9/2011 4:38:00 PM
This was mostly long, but good. Congratulations on winning in Kristen's contest.
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Date: 2/1/2011 2:47:00 PM
Congrats Joyce on your big win in Kristen's contest with this terrific write and entry my friend.. enjoy another grand victory with luv..
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Date: 2/1/2011 4:32:00 AM
Congratulations on the well deserved win in the contest, Joyce
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Date: 1/17/2011 3:59:00 AM
Awesome, Soupmail Joyce! What well written lines for the contest! Best of luck! Love, Gert
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Date: 1/17/2011 1:26:00 AM
Joyce, this is outstanding! Not only is it filled with oxymorons, but it also tells a very clever story. My crystal ball shows a big win in your future. Like Barbara, I've been struggling with this contest and started one that I haven't finished. You'll do great with this! Love, Carolyn
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Date: 1/16/2011 10:38:00 AM
Got a good laugh..There was one laygh after the other...Truly enjoyed..Reads like a first place winner to me...Your presence at my blog felicitated joy in my heart..Cody seems better but we know there is no treatment or cure unless they have found something in the last few days..There is research but no help..He went with me grocery shopping to do heavy lifting and was so paranoid before we got out of there that I felt his pain..Sara
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Date: 1/16/2011 1:50:00 AM
An amusing write of rhyme and funny intelelct. Love how you take us through the occasion from perhaps stagnight drunken ways or maybe general confusion of nerves through to marital bliss? Loved this and off to re-read... Thanks for your most welcome comments, good to find you...
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Date: 1/15/2011 2:02:00 PM
Joyce, this kind of nonsence poem is so fun to read. I entered an oldie, the onlyone I had of this type. Yours has twice as many oxymorons in it as mine. Awesome job.LUv,Andrea
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Date: 1/15/2011 10:23:00 AM
This is so nutty..I just love it. Im going to try to write one..Ill call you if I get stuck..lol.BG
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Date: 1/15/2011 9:03:00 AM
What a very entertaining read, Joyce-- I super enjoyed this one and I can't help but smile reading each line-- amazing poem! definitely a winner :) -- nikko :)
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Date: 1/15/2011 4:25:00 AM
P.S. dear me... forgot to say this is downright hilarious i can't breathe! rooting for this in the contest, lol... :) nette
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Date: 1/14/2011 11:35:00 PM
such a vivid display if paradoxical intent, joyce.. you wow me with this clear yet abstract thought pattern.. yes! :) nette
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