The Jewel In the Crown

I really want to, but then I really don't My mind says to stop, but somehow I just won't The battle rages on, inside my head each day Most times I never know, what I will do or say And such is the life, of someone who is addicted A life in disarray, thoughts are always conflicted But I'm the one in charge, this much I know is true I need to trash all my thoughts, put faith in what I knew Before I morphed into, this demented state of mind I used to love myself, and that true self I must find It comes with introspection, into days gone by To answer the burning question, why do I get high Unable to deal with feelings, the ego gets in the way Now a grown monster, its this ego I must slay If it happens to you, all the days you will frown I hope this poem helps my friend It's the Jewel in the crown