The Hurt That I Often Feel

Yesterday, I thought I seen the back of your head, I felt my mind shook as I started to dread, That you were there, But then I realized, It wasn't you. As I left the airport, I got into a truck, that was just like yours, Then all my emotional sores started hurting again. And later on, after seeing, That the friend I wanted to have all to myself in high school, Already had someone to be best friends with, I held back my tears, And fear that maybe I'll never recover From these emotional issues that seem to go on forever. And I feel like I can't keep myself together... Especially when I see two siblings who love one another, Wishing my siblings were close to my age, Then I wouldn't have ever felt like I was in a lonely cage, Envying those who get to have a younger sibling jump into their arms, Whenever I see them at school... She always felt like a little sister for me, I want to protect her, But nowadays, I don't like the way she is some times, And I feel confused, and lonelier when I see that she Likes her other friends more than me. Yet again, more envy, And I feel guilty realizing it's wrong for me to be jealous In friendship... I'll make sure our friendship never ends, But I know that my loneliness will never disappear, And I will never be able to reappear, In school with her again, it hurts, Especially when I don't have someone to share the suffering Of high school work and gym. I still feel hurt and sad, everything in elementary, That made me glad will be pushed away, And I'll probably feel alone everyday... Just like the old days, when I cried at night... And my alarm clock was my nightlight... Now I need Him, to keep me safe, And be my light, Because the hurt that I often feel Is an inner fight for life!