The Fine Line

So let me get this straight You thought that we'd be fine That's really what you said When you went to end your life? You thought it would be wise To look me in my eye And tell me, at nine that you wanted to die? Did you ever stop to think The damage you would cause? The way the world would shift and we would start to fall? Did it ever to occur to you That you're not the only one with pain And losing you so young would cause us to never be the same? No, you didn't You thought that we'd be fine You said it yourself, you said it all the time! You told me, everyday at nine That we would be better off without you And you should just die Well you succeeded You're no longer here I hope being up there made everything clear I hope you found your peace And you got what your after I hope you don't even know that you made me a disaster Because as much I'm angry As much as I'm bitter I don't want you to feel pain I don't want you to suffer I want you to be free Though I'll never get to be I'll always have the thoughts and memories Of what you did to me Every now and then I look back on my life The way you cared and the way your voice brought me light I have to move on It's been over 10 years It's pathetic I still think of you And imagine you here And now I am depressed Now I want to die The cycle continues And I'm living a lie Saying I'm okay That I don't wanna cry And it's like just like you thought We're all totally fine.