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The Fake Ticket

To all of common ancestry
All cousins to be sought
Who bear the line within my vein
Legitimate or not

Akin to or by marriage
Even once or twice behooved
Descendants and dependents
Even forcibly removed

The fondest of all memories
Of days gone by alas
I won the free kin lottery
You can all go kiss my yass

You scoundrels and you liars
Always said I was a fake
That i laid down with my cousin
And the cow at cavan lake

I'm gonna take my scratch and win
Down to the five and dime
When I get back you best be packing
Much more stuff this time

Should I pack for nasty weather
Are we leaving very soon
I care less what you take with you
Just so you're gone by noon

Thank you for the lovely gift
You spent your last two bucks
So where you land upon your rass
I couldn't give two trucks

But if I croak along the way
Or drop upon return
You all can have my fortune
Dizzy trucks you'll get your turn 


I suppose some readers might not get the joke. But it's been going around the internet now for many years. In most novelty stores, joke shops and gift shops, you can buy a phony winning scratch ticket. Has it ever happened to you? Get one for a friend. I highly recommend it.

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