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The Eyes

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One of my favourite poems is Antigonish written in 1899 by William Hughes Mearns. I like the contradiction and the there but not there playfulness about it. So here’s a light verse with thanks to WHM. I didn’t want my poem to rhyme though; I think not rhyming it adds to its strangeness. Hope it works.

being watched by eyes over there over there where the eyes are not their ethereal glare nefarious unseen, ready like puckered lips this eyeless wraith with lidless eyes nowhere, peering beyond their death there are eyes staring that are not there these shapeless orbs surrounding

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Bill Baker

Date: 12/2/2023 4:47:00 PM

Intriguing train of thoughts, Clive. I enjoyed reading your (light) poem that requires a great deal of thinking to convince oneself it is true. I did like the rhythm and the energy. Fine poetry! Bill

Clive Culverhouse
Date: 12/3/2023 1:35:00 AM

Hi Bill, yes I went for light verse because of its nonsense-ness on face value, maybe I've invented heavy light verse as well as dark light verse, thanks for reading

Lady Labyrinth

Date: 12/2/2023 2:33:00 AM

I wonder, how many poems Mearns wrote...as tokens, to pay the price, to get home.

Clive Culverhouse
Date: 12/2/2023 5:46:00 AM

I don't know anything about Mearns I just liked the poem, thanks for reading

Lady Labyrinth
Date: 12/2/2023 2:34:00 AM

intriguing poet Mearns, interesting poem...further research required.

Ink Empress

Date: 11/30/2023 2:43:00 AM

Your words flow so seamlessly and i love the way you’ve phrased every line too, deeply moving and touching. Pleasure reading this

Clive Culverhouse
Date: 12/2/2023 5:45:00 AM

Thanks IE, very much appreciated

Mat Ignacio

Date: 11/29/2023 7:00:00 PM

you've given this a new vitality - much enjoyed

Clive Culverhouse
Date: 11/30/2023 1:02:00 AM

Thanks Mat, so glad you enjoyed it

Jeff Connelly

Date: 11/29/2023 4:37:00 PM

Clive, I enjoyed both, the poem by Mearns and yours. Your poem has enough internal rhymes and sonorous sounds to give it a playful bounce. "There"/"where"/ "their"/ "glare" etc... This is a very fun read. I especially love the image of the closed or squinting eyes looking like "puckered lips". Thanks for this

Clive Culverhouse
Date: 11/30/2023 1:01:00 AM

Thanks Jeff, I really appreciate that supportive and constructive comment, I was worried somehow it wouldn't come off as it did in my head but it must have done. Playful bounce I like that.

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 11/29/2023 3:17:00 PM

I agree... a rhyme scheme would have been a distraction. The flow of your poem is perfect...I loved 'shapelesss orbs.' Well done, Clive. Have a splendid evening, Sara

Clive Culverhouse
Date: 12/2/2023 5:44:00 AM

Thanks Sara, glad you liked it, appreciate your support

Di11y Da11y

Date: 11/29/2023 12:19:00 PM

I like it!

Clive Culverhouse
Date: 11/29/2023 12:30:00 PM

Phew, pleased about that, thanks for your time D