The Easy Way

I say crazy things. Because I simply forget sometimes. I can forget mid-sentence. And I’ll have to start over and over. The repetition is comforting somehow. Sometimes I’ll try to save the sentence so I don’t repeat myself. Which sometimes only makes it worse, and it becomes a run on sentence, and I’m suddenly scared to stop talking because I’m afraid of what they will say, and I feel like I haven’t been talking that long anyway, so it feels like they’re interrupting me… I am able to go into “normal mode.” But that’s exhausting, and really for others’ benefit. I know they’re worried, but it’s not a big deal, I just have to keep talking because I have so many ideas! Unless I’m just repeating myself, but I’m not sure right now. I’m just talking to myself, but who else will I talk to? All these other crazy people? It’s time for lights out anyway. I don’t have time to sleep. I need to whisper to myself until morning. Because if I don’t, I will forget everything… Well, what do I need to remember? Remembering is scary. My family hates me, I think. In here, it’s ok to forget. Sometimes, it’s easier to just be crazy.