The Deserted Girl

Looking himself in the mirror
He can feel that someone waits for him

Beside the lake wearing her black attire
Holding sky in countenance
Ocean in her blue gaze

He wishes to kiss the cloud
He keeps looking at while she stands still
He is confused but stares at the small hill
Lovely story under a white shroud

Bleeding tears in eyes
She stands a statue kissing
Her own psychic salt
A heavy rock on his heart
The girl he has deserted
___________________________________
01/09/2016 for: Challenge - Write One – Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Broken Wings
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Kalicharan Avatar
September 15, 2016 at 1:16 AM
Sadly captivating... Congrats...
Gupta Avatar
September 15, 2016 at 5:56 AM
Thank you ...
Mwangi Avatar
September 14, 2016 at 7:44 AM
its kind of sad both ways, she appears lonely and broken like she is in mourning(wearing her black attire, bleeding tears in her eyes) he on the other side seems unhappy like he regrets it( he wishes to kiss the cloud)... :-) thats just my take. loved it.
Gupta Avatar
September 14, 2016 at 9:53 AM
Nice interpretation ... Thank you ...
Haight Avatar
September 9, 2016 at 4:32 PM
Heartfelt and lovely, Probir. Congrats on your fine placement in the contest. Sandra
Gupta Avatar
September 9, 2016 at 11:19 PM
Thank you ...
Callus Avatar
September 9, 2016 at 2:26 PM
Truly a captivating and tender write, Probir. Congratulations on this fine win. Regards // paul
Gupta Avatar
September 9, 2016 at 11:21 PM
Thank you for the appreciation, Paul...Regards ...
La France Avatar
September 9, 2016 at 11:33 AM
Probir, congratulations on your win in my contest with this wonderful poem ~
Gupta Avatar
September 9, 2016 at 12:45 PM
Thank you so much for the contest and the placement ...
Hay Avatar
September 9, 2016 at 9:36 AM
Ditto what Laura Loo said, lovely write, and congrats too, warm regards, Laura.
Gupta Avatar
September 9, 2016 at 9:42 AM
Thank you ... Congratulations on your well deserved success of 'Guilty Father'
Scars Avatar
September 9, 2016 at 7:54 AM
Probir, "ocean in her blue gaze", lovely imagery, .congrats on your placement! :)-luloo
Gupta Avatar
September 9, 2016 at 9:43 AM
Thank you ...
Medders Tobechi Avatar
September 8, 2016 at 5:59 PM
Lovely imagery. Congratulations.
Gupta Avatar
September 9, 2016 at 12:37 AM
Thank you ...
Krampe Avatar
September 1, 2016 at 2:30 PM
I love what you did with this difficult format. Your poem flows seamlessly. Good luck on the contest, Probir. Agnes
Gupta Avatar
September 2, 2016 at 12:37 AM
Thank you for your sincere comment, Agnes ... The format is not so difficult ... Calling up the theme-related images take time ... and getting at the right word takes time too for me because English is not my first language ...
Mcconnell Avatar
September 1, 2016 at 12:27 PM
nice penning Probir, good imagery and well constructed, blessings, Gordon
Gupta Avatar
September 2, 2016 at 12:38 AM
Thank you very much ...
Allison Avatar
September 1, 2016 at 7:40 AM
A very touching sad poem Probir good luck in the contest:-) hugs jan xx
Gupta Avatar
September 2, 2016 at 12:39 AM
Thank you ...
Kumar Avatar
September 1, 2016 at 2:24 AM
Very much touched. Great write Sir
Gupta Avatar
September 1, 2016 at 5:17 AM
Thank you for your visit and comments ...
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace