Frederic Parker Poet Free verse

The Deepest Sadness

My soul cries forever with its deepest sadness
betrayed by a love that never was
a child innocent
beaten by angry hands clutched by a World War
from a father whose eyes were vacant

I still remember the rage,
the angry voice,  the words
"Come here!"
My head always bowed in silent withdrawal,
eyes that stared at nothing
barely walking yet moving forward
knowing what was to come... again
The hard slap on the back of the head
feet leaving the ground
hands trying to break the fall
feeling numb
the sharp sound of the razor strap
being lifted from the nail it hung on
used like a whip
across back and legs
while being lifted by one arm
the screaming, the crying
the terror of it all
It still haunts my mind
in the quiet dark spaces and always will
My eyes well up when I remember
it's a memory I keep hidden deep within
my damaged soul
My own children would never know such things
I survived
but,  at what cost
To always wonder what could have been
yet happy, for it's a sadness,
my children have never known


8/22/17 Contest I'm a Survivor

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Gregory Richard Barden August 30, 2017 at 12:50 AM Thank you for sharing this, Frederic, I know it must have been difficult, but you have touched my heart, and your courage is amazing. I, too, ended a cycle of neglect with my children, and I swore I would hug and kiss them until they asked me not to ... but they NEVER asked me not to, and now they are loving parents. Blessings on your success in overcoming, and congrats on your win!

Heidi Sands August 29, 2017 at 9:03 PM Frederic. What a powerful poem. I am so sorry you had to endure this and you are certainly a survivor! This is so well written and expressed. Congratulations ! :)

Anita Harris August 25, 2017 at 9:10 AM The fear and pain, both physical and emotional, come through loud and clear. Very powerful writing!

Eileen Manassian August 24, 2017 at 1:48 AM Frederic....this tears at my heart....flays it. If there is a true to life poem....my heart goes out to you. Why? How can such things happen? I'm moved to my depths with this piece. Survive and thrive. Blessings

Harry Horsman August 23, 2017 at 3:12 PM Amazing poetry, Frederic, i read your sorrows with sincerity, able to relate, a poem that needed to be written...

Lin Lane August 22, 2017 at 12:25 PM Sometimes people learn from the mistakes of their parents. Your children are blessed to have you as their father, and I have admiration and compassion for you for the telling of your mistreatment as a child.