The Darkness 10-17-08

the darkness is closing in... the two people that held it back for me while i tried to get away are now down to one...one left and one stayed... i pushed one awayfor their safety and selfishly asked the other to stay and protect me...the other is now standing alone... alone against the darkness...against the pain i don't want to feel... against the pain i'm selfishly making them feel for me...while i cry, terrified, terrified of the pain, all alone in the corner far away from the darkness... with my little lamp that has become very dim...and my favorite stuffed animal and my bible...crying and praying...not worrying about the hunger or thirst slowly building up... but only worrying about the pain that i want to disappear so i can stop hurting my friend and be able to be happy...able to truly smile and have dreams instead of nightmares... able to bring that friend back and stop hurting the other one... then finally i can laugh again and stay happy...finally...