Crystal LeMouse Poet Free verse

The Closed Story

There was a time, once long ago
When I was young, foolish, and too willing
That I admit, we were happy. 
I ignored deeper issues in the hopes
That we could fix them together. 

But those problems became weapons
And like daggers, you used them against me
I allowing you to do so
Until I used a broken shard of myself as a weapon
And plunged it deep into your heart, to escape. 

I ran
I walked
I cried
I hurt
I healed

But of course, that’s not the end of the story
As you entered my life, time and time again
With tempting words of friendship
That was always too good to be true
I allowed you to try anyway. 

Until the last trial
Where in my strength
I finally confronted you on your reasons
You finally admit that your heart was the true reason
As you chased the memory of who I used to be

We cried
We tried
We hurt
We loved
You left

Because who I am did not meet
Your illusion of what you see
Held high on a pedestal
So perfect and untouched
Too far to really see

So I am writing the ending to this story
I have closed the paths
I have changed the locks
I have burned the last broken bridge
I have closed the book on our story

I screamed
I cried
I hurt
I numbed
I froze

Even as you set sail once again
I sent one last message
A warning to confirm the end
That this book is finished
That there will be no more trials. 

Because you see through an illusion
You can not realize
That is not an ocean you set sail on
But a mix of pain, blood, and tears
And it will drown any that get close

I swam 
I feared
I struggled
I relaxed
I almost drowned

I no longer fear being alone
In loneliness, I can turn to myself
I can pick up the shards of myself
And repair them on my own
It will only take strength and time

I am returning to myself
I am exploring who I truly am
And who I can be
I spend time with myself
I love me

I repair
I smile
I laugh
I cry
I heal

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