Get Your Premium Membership

Echoes of Hiawatha

The Cave I descended in the cavern, Through a passage, I descended, Deep and deeper, ever narrow, Ever further, ever darker. As I sat and turned my light off, Not a glimmer, not a flicker, Not a shine of distant lantern, Utter darkness, black and starless. Not a sound of beast or human, Not the plink of dripping water Nor the rustling of faint breezes – Utter silence, mute and soundless. And I felt the cool hard limestone, Felt the rock beneath my body, Felt the wisdom and the secrets In the ancient womb of Gaia. Contest Echoes of Hiawatha: Compose a poem in the style of Longfellow's Song of Hiawatha, maximum 20 lines. Form must be trochaic tetrameter, no rhyme (Select form as "verse"). Incorporate Longfellow's use of repetition as a device.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 8/6/2018 10:15:00 PM
Love this poem, Agnes.
Login to Reply
Date: 9/25/2017 8:46:00 PM
Back to congratulate you on your win, Agnes . Hugs Eve ~`*
Login to Reply
Date: 9/25/2017 8:02:00 PM
GREAT win, Agnes!!!! Yes,I CAN tell it's like you are in the beat of Song of Hiawatha. I invented a form years ago called 7/5 Trochee (you can find it under new forms at Shadowpoetry.com) I think if you wrote some poems using that form, they would be really cute. You have that meter already mastered!
Login to Reply
Date: 9/25/2017 10:40:00 AM
Agnes, congratulations on your win, I recall that contest ~
Login to Reply
Date: 9/3/2017 9:31:00 PM
Very beautifully written and completely captivating. I so enjoyed your poem Agnes. Congratulations on your win! :)
Login to Reply
Date: 9/3/2017 4:08:00 AM
Lovely rhythm and flow, Agnes. Fully deserving of a win, so pleased Janice's contest gave you that opportunity!! All the best, John.
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 9/3/2017 4:47:00 PM
Thank you, John.
Date: 9/2/2017 10:23:00 PM
Agnes, thank you for entering my contest, CONGRATULATIONS On your win. Janice
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 9/3/2017 4:47:00 PM
Thank you very much, Janice - I am glad you liked my poem.
Date: 7/13/2017 10:33:00 AM
In the ancient wisdom of Agnes Krampe...caves are far more mysterious than we give them credit...nice one Ag...^WW^
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 9/3/2017 4:47:00 PM
Thank you, ^WW^
Date: 7/10/2017 6:56:00 PM
Somehow I felt shades Edgar Allan Poe in this marvelous piece Agnes! The mystery beneath the earth is intoxicating. We have but scratched the surface of the mysteries yet to be discovered. : )
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 7/10/2017 7:47:00 PM
Thanks, Connie. Poe's Raven is trochaic octameters, so I can see why this evokes Poe (and am very flattered, LOL)
Date: 7/10/2017 5:24:00 PM
I am sure you succeeded in what you set out to do when you wrote this poem, Agnes. The meter was ably tackled; the first stanza depicts the long climb down to the bottom; the silence and darkness contribute to being closer to mother earth. I can relate...caves are enchanting .Regards // paul
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 7/10/2017 5:59:00 PM
Thank you for your kind and thoughful comments, Paul.
Date: 7/10/2017 7:56:00 AM
I can feel the stillness in your touching poem, Agnes:) awesome:)
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 7/10/2017 1:37:00 PM
Thank you, Jo.
Date: 7/9/2017 1:59:00 PM
Wonderful imagery I can feel that cool stone and love the theme, Agnes ~*
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 7/10/2017 1:37:00 PM
Thank you, Eve.
Date: 7/6/2017 11:46:00 PM
oh yes, it DOES sound like hiawatha/ I had started out on the wrong beat though and did not catch it at the very beginning. One would have have to accentuate the word I at the very beginning of line one I think , in order to have that Hiawatha meter, right? it's been so long since I read the poem!
Login to Reply
Date: 7/6/2017 11:46:00 PM
Going back home soon. So probably I will not be around here for the next two days. See ya, Agnes.
Login to Reply
Date: 7/2/2017 10:48:00 PM
Your meter in this verse is rock solid!! Loved reading it to that great flow!! Love the way you made it seem so real, Agnes.
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 7/3/2017 9:07:00 AM
Thank you, Andrea. I wanted to try out this particular meter (can you tell I am listening to Song of Hiawatha on audiobook?)
Date: 7/2/2017 9:58:00 AM
Beautiful picture you pain there. I can see the descent, whether in reality or as metaphor. Beautiful.
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 7/3/2017 9:07:00 AM
Thank you, Darren. I had not even though of it as metaphor... hm....
Date: 7/1/2017 2:31:00 PM
oh love this, especially the last line
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 7/3/2017 9:06:00 AM
Thanks, Jack.
Date: 7/1/2017 10:02:00 AM
Gorgeous :) xomo
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 7/3/2017 9:06:00 AM
Thanks, Maureen.
Date: 6/30/2017 8:10:00 PM
I love going down into caves, Mrs Gladys. Really a nice poem. As cool as that cavern:)
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 7/1/2017 9:13:00 AM
Thanks, Daniel. It was a neat experience.
Date: 6/30/2017 6:45:00 PM
Reminds me of some deep old classic poem.
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 7/1/2017 9:12:00 AM
Thanks, Sunlite. That's probably because I was experimenting with meter and was trying to seee if I can write in trochaic tetrameter ;)
Date: 6/30/2017 6:25:00 PM
I know how you love your climbing so I can picture this so vividly Agnes:-) Such beautiful imagery:-) hugs Jan xx
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 7/1/2017 9:11:00 AM
Thanks, Jan. We went caving last week, it was really impressive and very different from climbing above ground.
Date: 6/30/2017 5:45:00 PM
Oh, this is a really neat one Agnes. Well done :)
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 7/1/2017 9:10:00 AM
Thanks, Heidi.
Date: 6/30/2017 5:37:00 PM
Very cool Agnes and mystical to me. This read smoothly and had a great theme.
Login to Reply
Krampe Avatar
Agnes Krampe
Date: 7/1/2017 9:10:00 AM
Thank you, Chris.

Book: Shattered Sighs