The Athlete, the Poet and the Reprobate

"I can't decide," she said, "Whether you're an aesthete Or an athlete, A poet or a reprobate."   "Even when I'm a lout, I'm an aesthete," he answered, "I lure, rather than seek."   "So why do you Need to dress up?"   "Like Ronald Firbank, I suffer from a need To give an outward show Of my significance.   His lifestyle is an uncanny Parallel To my own young manhood.   I alienated people Through a crippling shyness, Which I disguised With my violently idiosyncratic   Behaviour, wore cosmetics And wrote novels That reflected the luxurious Lifestyle of a bygone age.   The sensation Of never quite belonging Lingered about me always; That's why I became an actor.   Through heavy experiences I have built up A stoned wall Resistance Against arrogance and aloofness.   I am a sophisticated cynic With a kind heart And a tendency towards regret." ("The Athlete, the Poet and the Reprobate" is based largely on writings created when I was about 20, and And in its original form, constituted some kind of unfinished fantastical novel.)