Thank You Old Friend

Dear Brandi, I’m sorry you always had a hard time growing up. I’m sorry it was so confusing trying to fit in with the girls when you never were one of the girls. I'm sorry my puberty never hit you. The year you turned 12 was the year you first said you didn't want to be alive anymore and in therapy you said you wouldn’t make it to 18. On my 18th birthday I thought about you. you were right. At 19 you started to fade. I tried to control alt delete you from my autobiography. Maybe I'm not understanding the definition of death but even though some of your parts still exists you aren't here anymore. and soon, you'll be erased completely. I'm sorry you didn't experience college like you wanted to. But now you will never hear Brandi andrews announced at a college graduation, Or on a marriage certificate Or a name in the place of mother on a birth certificate. When the prescribed testosterone started flowing through my body, it stopped producing the potential to form children. I thought about you and how you wanted kids so bad, it’s okay, I want them too. And I am sorry, that this process is so slow and long. I'm sorry you have to sit in the background and watch people forget about you. I'm sorry if you're wondering if you even meant to belong. you did don’t forget that, Yours truly, Braydon Oh, and another thing. I never hated you. Thank you for staying alive long enough so I could live.