Texting and sexting as therapy

though many men, (especially former Norwegian bachelor farmers from Lake Woebegone, - but one presently wedded to another female for not quite thirty orbitz around Mister sun) seek a booty call compliments of Facebook (Meta) Messenger yours truly (me - a married Neanderthal - who just learned how to walk erect this morning) does fumfer and forestall profusely groveling and figuratively backpedaling when upbraided, interrogated, and accused of spouting doublespeak subsequently, I consider hiring a translator courtesy my awkward circumlocutious attempt to inthrall, which gobbledygook more harrowing than a maelstrom approaching landfall orchestrated and synchronized with the right hand man of divine creator ( à la Matthew Scott Harris) in tandem with countless gods/goddesses, who mentored said oddball, how to control meteorological phenomena which his granted special powers (alluded to in at least one previous poem) if you may recall which series of unfortunate events only Lemony Snicket can uninstall all said and done, he seeks only platonic relationships with intelligent and witty women ideally to learn him how to speak and write social media platform jargon clichéd words understood and accepted as trite versus his trademark cumbersome debilitating, excruciating, and brow furrowing endeavors for anonymous readers to tax their brain cells essentially expostulations against unspoken conformity quite, but most of me threescore and six years accruing non-establishmentarian, nonsectarian, and and nonvegetarian linguistic constructs formulated along the edge of night, where dark shadows obscure a knight in tarnished armor just back from the twilight zone pulls himself to full, albeit average height of approximately seventy inches, which unimpressive stature doth not excite, but what I lack in physique genetics compensated me with being humble and bright thus with sincerity I apologize to the wife, whose husband engaging in his dirty deeds done dirt cheap essentially cheating by texting and sexting, and must figuratively nip in the bud communicating electronically with plethora of females (many young enough to be his daughter) before he gets himself deep pressed into virtual shenanigans with veritable strangers out to delude, hoodwink, one aggrieved sexagenarian and piss poor student, whose eldest daughter not surprisingly exhibited honor roll intelligence qualified her for giep and lure already finding him a heap now after telehealth zoom session with psychologist keep thwarts dissolution of fidelity, a lesson once learned years ago contemplating reverberations of narcissistic actions, hence self imposed pressure sublimated into attention to the missus and scratching out thoughts from nooks and crannies of noggin leap.