Tears On a Photo
I was 1 and a half in the photograph of you holding me
You looked bored, like you couldn't wait to let go of me
I shed a few tears on the photo, then ripped it up and haven't looked back since
Thank you for being a coward so I could find my own strength
Why should I miss you, when you couldn't even do the basics?
You let me go days without food, and had me walking around naked
You were too busy drinking to dress me and give me any of your time
When I was crying my eyes out as a baby, you ignored me and acted like I was fine
You and mum left me home alone when I was 2 and didn't put a guard on the fireplace
I almost burned myself, but my sister walked through the door in time to pull me away
A little boy, Who was cold, and crying because he was hungry and scared
But you spent all your money on alcohol so food wasn't there
The neighbours called social services when I was 4, As they feared for my safety
They paid a visit but for some reason they didn't take me
They lost my file and neglected me for the next 3 years
Age 7, after more calls, they really realized I shouldn't be there
They had to pay me compensation at 18 for forgetting they were supposed to protect me
Not sure which hurts more, The fact you didn't care, or social services chose to neglect me
27 foster families between age 7-11, I got contact with you 6 times a year
Most contacts dates I didn't get to see you, because you turned up blind from beer
Passed around foster families, you and mum not turning up, is it any wonder I was feeling alone?
A month before I turned 12, I got moved into a children's home
Every single day I dreamed that you would put the drink down and take me to play football
You had the number to contact me, but never even bothered to call
5 days before I turned 15, You died and I didn't feel sadness
I felt nothing, thinking I should be heartbroken, this is madness
In those 15 years, you never gave me any advice, not even a kiss
No hugs, nothing, so there was nothing for me to miss
I got R.I.P dad tattooed on my arm, to pay my respects
People told me I had to forgive you, because of your death
But the only good thing that I found
Is that now you have a legitimate reason for not being around
February was 10 years since you died,
but I've gone 25 years without you in my life
I'm supposed to miss you and be really sad
But you valued alcohol more than you did me, So I had to become my own Dad
Copyright © Alex Duffy | Year Posted 2017
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