Surrender

Not so very long ago, I was headed for self destruction, In my mind I created an image of something that I wasn't, When people played on my intelligence and emotions, I became vulnerable, even more so hopeless, The only comfort I could find, Was in a needle or a pipe, Chanting sweet nothings all the time, Like everything is alright, When I was often ready to quit, A whisper I'd hear inside of my head, C'mon Brit, Just one last hit, And my weakness would eventually give, Over and over this cycle would repeat, Back and forth we'd fight, my conscience and me, In the mirror I'd stare but noone I'd see, What a nightmare it was, this reality, They say before you walk you gotta know how to crawl you see But I've been running my whole life from my fears and police, Making excuses for the way I lived my life, Knowing the guilt ate away at me inside, losing my mind, trying to keep up with pride, God, if you hear me now I surrender, Everything I can think to remember!