Suits and Ties

One of my boyhood dreams was to become a successful functionary, With an office with a view, a fine oak desk and a pretty secretary! To wear a suit and tie (to me) would be the pinnacle of success. I was sick of wearin' brogans and overalls - I'd settle for nothin' less! I suppose to a certain degree my youthful dreams came true. For thirty years I wore a tie with the Air Force suit of blue. Anon, the wearin' of a suit and tie had lost much of its appeal. My discomfiture at wearin' a stranglin' tie became hard to conceal! My spouse attributes my disdain for suits and ties as a lack of cultivation. To not wear a suit and tie to church she considers an abomination! I'll deign to wear such garb for a weddin' or funeral to be a tad more couth, But I suffer thro' each excruciatin' minute of the ordeal to tell the truth! Here in the wild west, a well-dressed dude wears scruffy boots and jeans. Shucks, the feller could be a prosperous rancher and a man of means! I'm in heavenly bliss wearin' my jeans sans a constrictin' suit and tie. I feel as free as a golden eagle soarin' in the pristine Colorado sky! I reckon that when I cease to function and bid my friends adieu, That they'll insist on displayin' my mortal shell for everyone to view. But if they dress me out in a daggone suit and especially a throttlin' tie, There ain't no delicate way to express it - I'll just up and die! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired © All Rights Reserved