Suicide Mural Part One

The sun shimmers through branches Lighting up the canopy floor Where I peer up with blue eyes Tinged with red I'm as high as the clouds And my dreams are up there too Slowly disappearing on a hot day Sweat rolls down my forehead And echoes fill up my mind If only I could hit rewind and go back When people cared if I lived When I had friends who were there When I thought I knew the love of my life When 30 seemed so very far away Now my days are sprinkled with sorrow And I live in the realm of memories In the mirror my face gets older But I swear my heart gets younger A child in a grown man's body I was never prepared for this But I strive every day to do my best To eradicate the chains in my chest Because she's looking down on me I want to be what she always saw in me But the days are getting shorter And I feel like I'm running out of time Laying here in the forest Wondering when sunset will come When that splash of colors Will fade into a deep black And my thoughts stop racing And my heart stops beating And these tears stop falling And these memories stop haunting And these lies stop spinning I just want to close my eyes And disappear despite my fear There's no place left to go But the empty abyss An Atheist has no Heaven So life was supposed to be my Heaven