Suicidal Mom

and why would I want to live if my own mother is sick of her time on this earth. and its so hard to dream of a future when mother has been through a lifetime and her outcome is wanting to swallow a million pills and, god forbid, I dream of a family of my own and a husband who loves me because as mother tells me that all guys are the same I watch my father hit her and she swears that it is love, I mean it has to be right but most importantly why would I want my own happiness and passions and selfishness and success and love if I live everyday waiting for it to end when I come home and find her on the floor, alone, and gone.