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Stay There - Repost

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Reposting this, edited a little.

It's one of the first poems I posted on Soup and I am wondering what people now think of it. I wrote it about a year ago, and it's also one of the first poems I wrote in English.

STAY THERE AND DO NOT SET ONE STEP MORE Tentatively I set one step He lands me on the floor I'm scared I WARNED YOU, TO YOUR ROOM And I obey Frightened to the core Because every single word that's said Is only spoken inside my head *** August, 2016 Copyright © Darren White

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Maria Williams

Date: 5/7/2017 7:05:00 AM

A powerful poem Darren, makes the reader realise more and more what a wonderfully strong person you truly are. Super 7.... Maria xxx

Darren White
Date: 5/7/2017 7:09:00 AM

Marie, my friend, thank you, also for the 7 :)

Maureen Mcgreavy

Date: 5/5/2017 6:18:00 PM

I do not believe I have read this one. It places a weight on my chest I can literally feel. I think it is succinct and honest, a perfect piece of poetry. 7 dear friend xomo

Darren White
Date: 5/7/2017 7:08:00 AM

It is indeed something that is........ yes................ Thanks mo <3

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 5/5/2017 3:36:00 PM

Wow! Frightening and poignant. Brevity speaks clearly!

Darren White
Date: 5/7/2017 7:06:00 AM

Thank you, Kim :)

Tim Smith

Date: 5/5/2017 7:51:00 AM

I don't think I've seen this one before...it is deep and makes me want to give you a hug.

Darren White
Date: 5/5/2017 8:17:00 AM

I had exactly 1 comment at the time, and I was wondering if reposting would change that (a bit what Chris did yesterday), and to my surprise it does... Thanks Tim, I could use that hug!

Chris Green

Date: 5/5/2017 7:05:00 AM

Short but extremely expressive, the thoughts we have, those voices inside of our head can sometimes be very frightening. One step at a time my friend, slowly and surely, heading towards a beautiful day.

Darren White
Date: 5/5/2017 7:20:00 AM

Very, very frightening, and written during a time where recovery for me wasn't as far as I am now :) Yes, babysteps Chris, one at a time.

Anne-Marie Coreggia

Date: 5/5/2017 5:33:00 AM

A powerful poem that can shake you to your core; I was wondering if it was like an old record you play and you can't escape where a monster in his harsh commanding voice wouldn't leave you alone and had physical power over you, and to this day his words come back to haunt you. Au fait, la valse d'Amélie va merveilleusement bien avec le poème Darren:)Amitiés

Darren White
Date: 5/5/2017 5:39:00 AM

Oui, elle va, j'aime le launchpad :) But yes, the way you describe this? It could be read like it, in reality it is something different, but I love to keep it somewhat ambiguous. Merci beaucoup mon ami :)

Sara Ella

Date: 5/5/2017 5:24:00 AM

This is a powerful, haunting poem-in English. I wonder if the words are even more expressive in your native language.

Darren White
Date: 5/5/2017 5:39:00 AM

I might one day translate it, but it has never been written in any other language than English :)

Lisa Ricci

Date: 5/5/2017 5:01:00 AM

Top of The Morning to you Mr. Darren. To this ever expressive entry I say wowser. That's right wowser. This is ever passionate and expressive. Love the title. Even with brevity you speak. On a different note may the mind live on to take us where we want to be and stay. Have a wonderful afternoon.

Darren White
Date: 5/5/2017 5:41:00 AM

Wowser is such a fun word :) Thanks Lisa. It's a short one, isn't it?

White Wolf

Date: 5/5/2017 3:55:00 AM

I never saw that twist at the end coming! Self-discipline is a good thing! I'm just glad I'm not captive in your mind! Ha. A different side to our, Duir, I see! Scary, but great write!

Darren White
Date: 5/5/2017 4:35:00 AM

It has a twist hasn't it? And yeah, be glad :) Thanks Budgie!