space between

I woke up today, feeling like I could conquer the world. Smiling in the mirror - like I knew something no one else did, like I had all the answers to everything that's ever been wrong. The sun was shining, just the right amount too bright to care too warm to be anything but hopeful. I could run a marathon, climb a mountain, maybe even dance in the rain with all the grace I've never had. And yet, there's a heavy weight on my chest but I don't really mind it. It's a comforting kind of numb - the kind that makes everything feel like nothing at all. I could scream, but I'm too busy humming a song I've forgotten the words to. I could vanish, but I'll settle for a laugh, another smile no one dares question. And here I am, alive enough to pretend while dying in the space between.