Something From the Heart

something from the heart.. where do i start? relationships have never been my thing... so i just look foward to that day i give her a ring... thats a while away... in another universe...another day.... all i do is hope and pray... im too afraid of rejection... so i miss out on connections... god gives us all a gift.... so what gift did he give to me? im searching but i still dont see... no gift in sight... but i search all night.... my feelings dont change... for years they have been the same... throughtout this life i have felt pain... its true girls will come and go... but i want that one that will never go away.... maybe im just dreaming.... i close my eyes and its darkness... i open my eyes and im heartless... im no stranger to heartbroken... why did it have to be that friend.... i guess thats what i get for my heart being open... Still there is more to say... more on my heart that i want to say... at this point in life its stressful... so how can i be successful? so many things on my brain... i want to lock them all away in a box with a chain... its just so hard to explain... when it comes to girls there is pain... i feel like an outsider... like everyone else is a butterfly or lady bug... and i am a spider... sure i really like her and she makes my day... but im not really sure if she feels the same way... she says things but it sounds like she dosent care.... my feelings for her make me feel like i can fight a bear... or do some other kind of stupid dare... her and poetry are like an escape... but they are like a dream and you have to awake... after a while she fades away... and its just another day... notebook open with a pen... what do i say? its always the same... "i like you but lets stay friends"... to me thats like the end.... so now i start again... and my focus is not a girl... but the one who created this world... i will look to him for guidance... i'll try to do my best... and leave the devil in scilence... too young to understand love... so i give up... left here thinking "what the ****?"... holes in my heart as if lightning just struck... longing to leave this planet and find a new home... but sadly im stuck... so i will make the best of what i have in this life.. and never think twice...