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Skating upon Saturn's Rings

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For Sara Jama's contest

I oscillate between gliding and drifting unable to catch a breeze or catch my breath awareness existing artfully inside asphyxiation savour the moments where ice meets blade relinquish self fully to weightless cascade atmospheric haze transmutes into mind willed limbs skate onwards through all that chokes focus on a single point let your echoes stream forever forgetting creates flow state don't misstep on never-never endless haunting of the circuits disrupts construction of existence maybe vastness needed to foil emptiness resistance

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Sara Jama

Date: 2/25/2025 11:03:00 AM

Thank you for writing and finding inspiration in my prompt. Congratulations on your win. I absolutely love the depth and intricacies of your poem. "unable to catch a breeze or catch my breath awareness existing artfully inside asphyxiation," this line is just so beautifully expressed about hopelessness. No matter how much we claw and fight, everything pushes and works against us. Yet even in the darkness we can still find beauty. Congratulations on a much deserved win.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 2/25/2025 11:12:00 AM

Thank you so much Sara, my third line was definitely my favourite (although I wasn't sure if it was a bit far out for PS if not Saturn) :) it was a great prompt with both Ink's and David's also being my pre judging choices for the win.

I Am Anaya

Date: 2/25/2025 8:45:00 AM

Congratulations Dilly! My fav lines are the ones italicized, but all are awesome!

I Am Anaya
Date: 2/25/2025 2:13:00 PM

ah, thanks!

Di11y Da11y
Date: 2/25/2025 8:49:00 AM

Thank you Anaya, I'm still fingers crossed your shape bags 2 wins :)

Ink Empress

Date: 2/24/2025 8:59:00 PM

Congratulations dear DD! This deserved the trophy win! In my honest opinion! This is so concise, so deep and profound and such an intellectual write! While also theres so many emotions in this! I really loved so many lines in this. Well deserved top win this is!

Di11y Da11y
Date: 2/25/2025 1:22:00 AM

Nope and nope! That is your absolutely deserved trophy. I appreciate your encouraging words though and am immensely pleased to be on the podium amongst my favourite poets :)

Craig Cornish

Date: 2/24/2025 2:13:00 PM

Reading centered poems hurts my sensitive left justification...yet still...I endured (no thanks required) because - this is great writing---though, perhaps a tad Salvador in the final "clock drip' - I always love your - visions!

Di11y Da11y
Date: 2/24/2025 2:28:00 PM

Thank you Craig, the mixed form with inconsistent rhymes meant left justification wasn't fitting. The nod to a hymn layout worked best. I do enjoy surreal and abstract - much more my lane than traditional I think :) thank you for stopping by and your medium high praise haha :)

Ink Empress

Date: 2/20/2025 7:34:00 AM

Dear dd, this is quite an intelligent write and such brilliant metaphors too and how youv woven words that fit for the prompt is beyond impressive. I especially love the lines “ where ice meets blade” and also “forgetting creates flow state don't misstep on never-never” powerful and thought provoking hits the soul in such eloquence! Pleasure reading this! I think sara will like this! Best wishes. Sending you light always

Di11y Da11y
Date: 2/20/2025 11:17:00 AM

Thank you Ink! I hope it goes down well - I tried to write something a little different but still keeping with the theme. Thank you for your kind words x

Janice Canerdy

Date: 2/19/2025 8:05:00 AM

Interesting approach to the prompt, descriptive. Janice

Di11y Da11y
Date: 2/19/2025 8:27:00 AM

Thank you

I Am Anaya

Date: 2/18/2025 8:14:00 PM

Very cool it is a vastness of atmospheric haze and what occurred to me, these are answers, how to survive , do's and don'ts...and what "willed limbs skate onwards", imagery only you can do. I can actually hear the skates blades gliding and drifting, and smell the crisp Saturn ice as well! Ty poetess for my placement in your contest, it "really" was a nice surprise :))

Di11y Da11y
Date: 2/19/2025 12:53:00 AM

Haha the answers on how to survive would include getting off Saturn :) plus Saturn would give all my poems the high pitch of helium and ruin the effect haha. Lovely to hear you felt transported to the fantasy version of Saturn. (You're welcome regarding placement)

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 2/17/2025 9:37:00 PM

This story seems to invite me, "Put on your skates!". (My feet don't fit in them anymore). I liked "Don't misstep on never-never", and with that warning, we don't fall on our bums. Good luck with the contest. This poem was intriguing.

Di11y Da11y
Date: 2/18/2025 1:08:00 AM

Ahh I recently took ice skating lessons Hilda, the top tip is to learn how to fall. Fall techniques are typically squat low, then fall on your bum and get up quick (by leaning on your knee). I imagine the getting up quick would be quite important on Saturn haha. It's beautiful to picture the skating - the gravity and magnetism is different too on Saturn - if we could isolate those elements maybe falling wouldn't be a thing :)

David Kavanagh

Date: 2/17/2025 2:33:00 PM

Beautiful poetry Dilly, you inherently know how to put your inner self inside the essence of any spectacle, from an atom to planetary rings, Endless hauntings of the circuits is the stand out Line amongst many for me! Hey did you know it is thought Earth itself had rings in the past but gravity dragged them all back down to erm earth eventually after 10s of millions of years, all the best in contest, cheers David

Di11y Da11y
Date: 2/18/2025 1:03:00 AM

As I re-read my line then I thought for a second I'd inadvertently nicked it from you, checked then realised it must have filtered into my poem from the comment I left on yours (I was relieved!), so I was 'inspired by' phew! I can live with that. I absolutely felt that line as I was writing it, pictured it (without the vastness or the cruel 'not a skating surface' signs Saturn has going on). As a child I adored Saturn for being pretty, Earth having similar sounds a beauty contest I could invest in (but for the downsides). Thank you for your kind words regarding my poem, I worried it was circumflex territory :)