Sinking Ship

Im so very torn by my emotions Riding high my heart is in throat Angry and disillusioned by lies Seems the boat i ride never floats Holes in floorboards a sinking ship treading water about to drown Fighting for air gulping my anxiety I just wish i could stop falling down Seems my life is a never ending battle And uphill climb that leads no where Love is an illusion sold to us by tv No one gives up themselves to care Everything is about what you can get Theres no random kindness for another Agendas frought with your screwing neighbor I dont know why i ever even bothered Im a gentle spirit being churned and spit out I cast no stones yet they stone me I judge nobody yet still im judged I cant understand why this happens to me Am i truly that unlovable easy to burn Trekking through life without anyone to share my burdens or or give me love should i give up b4 what i do cant be undone Tied my holey boat back to the dock Ill stay where i am stagnant and still Stop trying to ford the river of life Give up give in til foes have there fill When they are done i rise again beaten Forlorn undressed regressed yet still standing Ill walk towards the sun head held high With a new inner strength of understanding But i wont be easy i wont show care My heart will b empty ill be the prick I will do only for me not care about you My heart will b filled with lead & arsenic