Silver Lining In My Darkest Hour

Cold and alone on my bathroom floor I sit, It's dark and I have a cigarette lit. I'm too weak to move, my will to live is all gone. The same thoughts repeat over and over in my head like a song. "You did what you did and you knew it was wrong. You get what you get now your children are gone. Your selfish, and you should feel sick." I'm empty and numb, my confidence shot. That's what I get for being so dumb. I try to feel something other than guilt and crazy. I take one hit and then another, the only feeling I feel is still one of dread. The shadows creep in and it gets hazy. Silent tears run down my cheeks as the monsters and demons come out to play in my head. They laugh and they taunt me, they tell me I'd be better off dead. I agree. I give up. I'm done. I'd do anything to set my soul free. My demons celebrate, they know that they had won. The set me on fire and spit in my face. They watch me burn until I'm nothing but ash. My life had just ended. Just like that, in a flash. I wake up screaming, It's hot and I'm drenched in sweat. There's a burn hole in my jeans from my cigarette. I sob and I shake as I realized this could have been my last mistake. I take a deep breath, my eyes hurt, the sun is too bright. I'm scared and confused, but I have to make this right. My future is important, my children are worth more. I gather my strength and pull myself up off my bathroom floor.