Shifting Through Snow

Part One: Screaming The gravel walkway Stretching down the maple lined path Leading the the brown wooden mailbox Turn the corner to the pool And the spiders I’m scared Scream for daddy But realize daddy is gone Gone because a truck hit him But that's grown-up talk Scream for mommy But mommy is mom She doesn't have time for spiders Or kids Only work I scream for my friends But nobody wants to be friends with The white boy So I scream for the sake of screaming Part Two: The School I turn again and I’m at my school The red slides on the playground The broken swings with the yellow warning tape Worn out from the rain and sun The playing The laughing The pushing And the crying Suddenly mommy has time to scold me Her fire hot words lash scars on my chest Then speedy hands leave bruises on my back Part Three: Therapy Take another turn and I’m in my therapist's office Trembling because of what mommy said Be honest he says But that will only get me in deeper Being honest Part Four: Snow One last turn and I leave it all behind The abuse that I called love I scream but this time it's not spiders It’s freedom The realization hitting me burns Like a kiln in a dutch kitchen Searing off my skin Exposing the worn wrinkled meat below me I go to the snow where my wounds can heal And as I shift through the snow I wonder if I could ever go back