She is my sunshine, my blanket of stars

The solace of home has dissipated like the charmed fog of Brigadoon Tensing up to swim with sharks, from my deep sadness… Please may I curl up and hibernate until I see my family again? My heart is not angry, it is still and quiet I spurn my friend music like a heckling stranger I hear without aid every voice that ever soared with longing in pangs of song Tonight, I am alone Clinging still to my respite, snuffed by a perky puffing train Cradling in my chest the warm golden glow of the magic stone my wife placed lovingly It will protect me from dying inside It marks me as hers In this I smile like the moment the pearly gates decided to open lasts forever Tonight, I am alone The precipice of tomorrow is already asking me to work up excitement This crusty crunch of caffeine, cigarettes, loud jokes and extended innuendos It wants me to shake awake Plug into “the program” to forget, to do duty To build freedom? I always balked at “the program”… The distraction I built is melting around me Familiar adornments of pragmatism and glamour drip away The bones of my life away from home seem sickly fragile, revealed Tonight, I am alone I seem to have crashed up on a blank new shore The winds have died I can only explore what Prospero has done for me I do not understand the choices trailing behind, nipping at my ankles Just always remember my love, saying “breathe deep, seek peace” But in a void, how do you breathe? You gasp, at first, until you find traces of air My broken, stuttering words Tonight, I am alone I sketch a fuzzy charcoal outline of some future still formulating I place the image of her aura around the sun I take heart watching the grey powder shimmer and climb off the page I am just now a minimal version of who I will be Quite lost Blind, deaf and bound with masked memories, spotty self awareness In the In Between My wife washes my funk away unswervingly like I’m a blessed leper I feel her now My love summoned hers Even from afar I see now…I am never alone