Eileen Manassian Poet Narrative

Shame and Honor- a True Story

“You want me to give you my daughter’s hand in marriage….
without the blessing of your family on this union?”
My father sternly eyed the love of my life.
I was quaking inside…
Why did this whole thing have to be so difficult?
Why did WE have to be modern day Romeo and Julliet with the Capulets and the Montagues out to kill our love? Why?

“You have MY blessing on this union. It should be enough.  
It is all I can offer. I am willing to be disowned by my family, if need be.
They have threatened to throw me out.  I am willing to pitch a tent on campus 
and live there if that becomes a reality. That is how much I love your daughter.“

My father was quiet for a moment. What a decision to make!  In a community
where shame and honor ruled supreme, he had to decide whether to subject
his daughter, indeed, his whole family, to public disgrace by making it known that she was not wanted, or to bring her joy by granting to her the desire of her heart...this young man.

My brother was not so giving. “How could you? Don’t you know the
things she is saying behind your back? You are dragging our good name in the
dirt.”  I couldn't understand him. How could he not care about his best friend's love for me, his sister? Was honor that important? I would soon find out…the silence was unbearable.

“Had I not known that you are a man of honor, a man of your word, and that you can stand up to your mother, I would not do what I am going to do now….which is to promise you my daughter’s hand in marriage.” 

My heart skipped a beat as I let out a sigh of relief.  My man beamed at me. How proud I was of him. Our love would pay the price of shame, for there is nothing more honorable than to love and be loved, no matter the cost.

For Kim Morrisen's Contest
Tell me a True Story
June 19, 2013

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Richard D Seal June 25, 2013 at 5:14 PM Congratulations on your win Eileen, don't forget to add it to your list of honours lol. Take care, Richard Eileen Manassian June 28, 2013 at 12:43 AM No....ooops! Sorry, It was on this poem....we are in agreement that the struggle made us stronger and we proved our in-laws wrong! :) Eileen Manassian June 28, 2013 at 12:38 AM Oh dear me, Richard. That was from some other post, the content of which escapes me now! OH Yes...the Warrior Princess...we are agreed that you are NO MATCH FOR ME! I could have your for breakfast and still need a snack mid morning! ;) Please...I do need to get this out of my system! Richard D Seal June 25, 2013 at 5:15 PM Good we are in agreement, just not quite sure on what lol

Elaine George June 25, 2013 at 12:22 AM Great story. Congrats on your win, Eileen. Elaine George Eileen Manassian June 28, 2013 at 12:40 AM Elaine, your congrats are welcome, as is your visit! :)

John Posey June 22, 2013 at 6:37 PM Great heartwarming experience and worthy of your win.... I believe you will like reading "That's Good Enough For Me" - a poem I wrote to my son-in-law after he asked for my daughter's hand in marriage. Congrats on a great win.... Jake Eileen Manassian June 28, 2013 at 12:42 AM Wow, John...Thanks for the post and for mentioning the poem...I'm on my way there now!

Carrie Richards June 22, 2013 at 4:48 PM Often that which is difficult, but worth fighting for, is better in the end....it seems as if the struggle made you stronger. Well done!! Eileen Manassian June 28, 2013 at 12:42 AM That does seem to be the way, doesn't it, Carrie! Thanks for the visit. You keep shining with your work! Hugs!

Heather Secrest June 22, 2013 at 4:31 PM Congratulations on your win!! I really liked it! Eileen Manassian June 28, 2013 at 12:41 AM Thanks, Heather...glad it spoke to your heart!

Joyce Johnson June 22, 2013 at 7:52 AM Congratulations on your no. 1 with this winning love story. Love, Joyce Eileen Manassian June 22, 2013 at 7:54 AM Thanks, Joyce...sweet of you to visit.

S.Jagathsimhan Nair June 21, 2013 at 11:26 PM A familiar story in these parts of the world..happy you are happy, a big congrats, hugs:) Jag Eileen Manassian June 22, 2013 at 1:33 AM Thank you, Jag. So sweet of you to drop by and congratulate me! :)

Kim Morrison June 21, 2013 at 9:16 PM Many of us from other cultures do not fully understand the honor you alluded to here and the accompanying shame that could follow when it is violated, but you unmasked it well in this piece. Impressive write! Kim Eileen Manassian June 22, 2013 at 1:32 AM Kim, thank you for your kind post and for my place in your contest. I am honored that you looked kindly on my poem. Yes....it is a grave issue here. We are tied to cultural and social norms that are hard to break. I find it quite suffocating at times....Middle Easterners tend to think I'm Western, and Westerners think I still have much of the Middle East in me...My Armenian roots also play a part. So, I guess I'm a citizen of the world. Thanks once again.

Donna Jones June 19, 2013 at 6:48 PM Ooohhhhh...boo....hoooooing here....tissue please.....big hugs to this guy and kisses to you... Eileen Manassian June 20, 2013 at 12:14 AM Thanks, Donna. I told him I'd written this yesterday! No marriage is perfect...Some of those objections actually did carry weight...difference in culture being a major one, but....everything can be overcome. We actually have good family relations now...though sometimes, old hurts do resurface and bring tears. Thanks for the love, MD.....I LOVE YA!

Richard D Seal June 19, 2013 at 4:41 PM Yes same here, her family did not approve of me, can u believe that?lol. When I asked her dad for his daughters hand, which I only did because she insisted, all he answered was, "She's only after your money", lol and walked off, so I took that to be a yes lol. I know in part of the world this is taken much more seriously, family honour, I'm not so sure it's that. Take care, Richard Eileen Manassian June 21, 2013 at 1:27 AM Well, Richard...hallelujah! We are in agreement. Glad you proved them wrong! :) Richard D Seal June 20, 2013 at 5:04 AM I think at the time they just did not understand me, I did prove them to be wrong though. This family honour thing is all about control, parents always think they know best and use it as an excuse to maintain that control. Eileen Manassian June 20, 2013 at 12:17 AM HEE HEE! I find that IMPOSSIBLE to believer, Richard. you are the most amazing catch! How could they? ;) hmmmmmm your money, eh? Well, that does add charm, Richard....we are only human! I'd like an explanation to that last line, please...what else could it be? Thanks for the post.

Painted Hunter June 19, 2013 at 1:55 PM Hey sweet lady! Wow on this poem...love wins in the end. My family did not approve of my marraige at all....except for my dad. They said it would NEVER work....nearly 12 years later we are happier together than ever. Great job with this...should do very well! Eileen Manassian June 20, 2013 at 12:13 AM :) For that introductory line...sweet lady! I'm so glad that you are going strong, Caleb. :) Glad your dad was there for support. Just so happens today is our 20th wedding anniversary. Who would have thought we'd make it this far??? I think it was the strong opposition that made us want to tie the knot more than ever! Feel like listening to "Still the One" by Shania Twain! :)

Seren Roberts June 19, 2013 at 9:57 AM Wow am so happy tnat love ruled ....Seren. Typo corrected Eileen Manassian June 19, 2013 at 10:01 AM Thanks, Seren! Sweet of you to post! Those typos plague me constantly...no worries! Seren Roberts June 19, 2013 at 9:58 AM Typo on my own name. Lol.Seren

Richard Lamoureux June 19, 2013 at 8:30 AM What a wonderful love story Eileen Manassian June 20, 2013 at 12:28 AM :) I'm happy for you! Cultural difference do make things a little difficult in countries where cultural norms and standards define who you are! Thanks for the visit. Richard Lamoureux June 19, 2013 at 10:58 PM I know a bit about this marrying into a Chinese family. Worked out well in the end. Eileen Manassian June 19, 2013 at 9:35 AM Thank you, Richard. Sometimes objections can be really fickle....I was not from the right culture....not pretty enough....not smart enough...Objections...though an honor student, popular, and....I was told....desired by many...I was not good enough for HER son. Oh well, the good news is we get along well now...and the past can be forgotten....at least...forgiven! :)

Poet Tacito June 19, 2013 at 7:44 AM Powerful story. True love really does overcome, somehow. Excellent story! Eileen Manassian June 19, 2013 at 9:37 AM Somehow....yes, it does! :) Thanks for the visit, Drake. Hope all is well! Hugs!

Lucilla Carrillo June 19, 2013 at 6:38 AM WOW! what people have to go through. Back in the day - people even killed for honor. You were lucky. I love your story. Lucilla Eileen Manassian June 19, 2013 at 6:40 AM Lucilla....they still do in these parts of the world. Have you heard of honor killings? A father will kill his own daughter if she loses her virginity before marriage. I've read a book on that called, Burned Alive. Horrific. I'm thinking of writing a poem about it sometime soon! Will get back to you. Got to run! Hugs!