Ruined
This shouldn't be so hard
Calling myself human and living like the others
And yet it is
I would explain what's wrong
But my mood tints my words
I hate that constant internal elevator
No one ever knows where it will stop
Or if it will
Somewhere in between tears and psychotic laughter
I realize what is happening
But I am an outsider
Watching me
My body and mind are only barely in sync
Their corruption of each other is common
Common enough to inflict the stabbing pain of self-hatred
And to tear a person apart
Underneath the average human flesh disguise
Lies a tormented shell of what was once a person
But the soul is gone
The acid that is hatred
Dissolved it away
And the icy cold that is fear
Prevents any new life
I am ruined
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